OrangePumpkinPrincess Shout Box

2009-04-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

For more information, click on the pic above.

A new note!

2009-01-31T04:38:00.000-08:00

It feels like I haven't been here like forever.......that will have to change.....SOON!

End of the Road

2008-12-27T03:02:00.000-08:00

I know i'm the one wanting change.......but now that's its so near......I am honestly scared of taking that final step.........Eight years and what do I have to show for it? NOTHING!!!

I will have to cross that road....sooner or later......but it's better now than wait for later!

New Beginning

2008-09-13T03:20:00.000-07:00

Kitchen Adventure 2

2008-07-18T06:37:00.000-07:00

Korean Beef resting on a bed of nutty sesame flavored stirred fried short toge.

One of my more successful experiment. hehehe!!!

Kitchen Adventure 1

2008-06-24T01:07:00.000-07:00

Cooking is one of my secret love...,...and experimenting is what i love to do but as a precaution I do consult a recipe first if I will be trying a new dish.

I recently came upon a recipe for Panjeon or Korean Pancake. Since I now can experiment as much as I like since I will be on my own for the next 6 months I decided that this will be experiment number 1.

Although I did make the not so serious mistake of not letting the batter rest for at least 30 minutes before frying it. But in my defense, I did try this recipe at around 12 midnight, so yeah I was hungry and so was my dog....can't spare another 30 minutes for the batter to do what it wants to do during that *rest* time.

another pic

Although it's supposed to be on the crispy side, this ended looking like your regular pancake. This taste good (a lot better than it actually looks) and the accompanying dip adds to the taste too (and I also found out that the dip makes an excellent partner to fried tofu too!)

Andy singing I LOVE YOU in ShangHai

2008-04-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

2008-04-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

Andy singing Friend and Love of My Life. His english is good and so is his singing. He should seriously consider coming out with an English Album.

Shinhwa and Friends

2008-04-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

Spent half the day and night of yesterday with the Shinphil girls. We were noisy and spent half the time either eating, laughing, sharing stories and laughing some more. My face was flushed red from laughing so much. I know I only laugh like this when I am in the company of my high school friends (And yes we are as loud too!) but hell, loud or not the time spent with this girls is worth a hundred visit to the spa.

Stressed?, meet with a friend, laugh like crazy and do as you please, and believe me silly as it may sound it is WAY better than a luxury massage and facial combined (and much cheaper too!!!)

whoaahhh

2008-04-05T04:22:00.000-07:00

didn't realize I was away this long!

Shinhwa 10th Anniversary Concert Spot no.3

2008-02-23T06:11:00.000-08:00

2008-02-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

Chapter 2-SACRIFICIAL LAMBS

2008-01-16T05:12:00.001-08:00

CHAPTER 2

Lamb to the Slaughter

The meeting with the Elders did not go well and made an already angry Andy more furious. He found it preposterous of them to assume that just because he agreed to the marriage means that he would agree to assume his abandoned position as a Guardian. He even found it more infuriating when they all looked to his father and demanded that he control him. Andy walked out, not caring if they would open fire at each after he leave the meeting hall.

He wanted to go back to his hotel and sleep but he knew that he would not be able to get any shuteye at the state he is in, so instead he took the car he borrowed from his brother for a spin around town hoping that the cool air would calm his nerves and clear his mind.

Traffic was light for a Friday night. The wedding is supposed to take place that Sunday and Andy has a mind to drive straight to the airport and abandon the lot of them to their big ego’s and never ending infighting.

Ring…..Ring…ringggggg……

“Hello” He said curtly.

“Where the hell are you?” It was Minwoo, obviously not pleased with the way he walked out of the Council of Elders meeting.

“Thinking of running your car towards the Han River”

“Pabo!”

“Dad called you?”

“Yes, and he is not very happy with you right now!”

“Don’t worry I feel the same!”

“Were at The Blue Lagoon”

“Hyung I’m really tired right now, can’t this wait”

“I’m afraid not!”

With that, his brother cut off the line.
He stepped on the accelerator not caring whether he hit something.

The Blue Lagoon is one of the classier establishments in downtown Seoul. Sure, it is still a girlie bar, but its clientele boast of a who’s who of society. Their girls are also a little bit classier than the other bars around town, the food is more decent and so is their list of vintage wines. Minwoo took him there the first night he arrived back in Seoul. Somehow, the gesture was lost in him because he asked to go back to his hotel room 30 minutes after they arrive. He claimed fatigue but truth be told his senses despite his tiredness is being assaulted by conflicting emotions of all the people that is in close proximity to him.

Andy did not immediately step out of the car the moment he arrived. It is a Friday night and he is quiet sure that despite the steep price people need to pay to be able to enter the place, the place would still be crowded.

So many thoughts are racing on his mind, all at the same time and it did not help that conflicting emotions people close by are assaulting him all over. He can feel small beads of perspiration forming at his nape and forehead. His heart beating faster by the second, Andy made a feeble attempt to get a hold of himself by breathing deeply.

A tap at the car window finally caught his attention.

“Welcome to the Blue Lagoon Mr. Lee”

Opening the car door, the cold night air washed over Andy’s damp skin, which calmed him down a little.

Just as he expected the bar is full to capacity. Andy made a feeble attempt to shut off his senses and concentrate on the loud music. Because of the crowd, it took them a couple of minutes before they reach the bar. The burly man led him to a side door guarded by a pair of equally burly men who immediately opened the door for them upon seeing his escort. The room they entered is small. On one wall is a big screen where smaller screens are showing various locations within the bar. There are three other people watching the monitors. It is the security room, but his companion did not even stop to look at the monitors, instead he led Andy to another door, which led to a long corridor. It was lit dimly and you could barely hear the noise of the crowd partying their Friday nights away.

IT was not long before they turned another corner and entered another corridor, which led to a series of stairs. The stairs led to another corridor, with one side lined by a solid looking metal wall while the other side is lined with what Andy assumed to be bulletproof glass panels. They are now on the third floor of the bar and they could actually see the whole bar crowded with people from where they are. However, they did not stop to watch the crowd on the dance floor. Instead, they continued walking until they reached another set of solid looking metal doors. The burly man who is escorting him spoke a series of number while looking at small screen. Andy immediately recognized the voice and retina recognition software developed by his company.

The metal doors opened to a small room. It doesn’t have much of a furniture except for a bar in one corner, two comfy sofa and matching center table. A large flat screen TV dominates one wall. You can hear soft music but its source is nowhere to be found.

Five men are huddled in front of the TV, each one nursing a small glass of vodka.

“What took you so long?” It was Minwoo. Today he looks resplendent in a white suit.

“I took the longer route!” Andy said in a matching tone.

“Sit down!” It was Eric. He is the only son of Mr. Mun from his first marriage. Lean, muscular and with good looks to match, people assume that Eric is the typical rich playboy who wastes his time playing with his expensive toys while chasing anything that wears a skirt. Few would suspect that under the silent demeanor is a highly skilled expert shooter and swordsman.

Andy sat down and accepted the glass of martini that Hyesung silently handed him. He is as tall as Eric but much leaner. He has a small face with soft almost feminine features. This belies the fact that he is a 5^th Dan Blackbelt Master in Taekwondo and an expert shooter like Eric.

“How’s business doing President Lee?” Dongwan asked him in an attempt to clear the tension in the air. He is almost as tall as Andy is and is only a few months younger than Minwoo. But despite that, he possesses an air of maturity far beyond his real age. Like Hyesung he is also skilled in the art of Taekwondo and is also a good swordsman.

“Ok I guess!” Andy said this just so not to appear rude in front of his friends.

“How bad is it?” This time its Junjin’s turn to ask him. He is the tallest among them and has an athletic built with matching good looks. He is only a year older than Andy but like him was accepted early to become Old Shin’s student because of the powers he possess. He began training the same year as Andy.

“They want me to come back and assume my abandoned post as a Guardian”

“Not surprising” Dongwan said.

“They all got upset when I said they could shove the post up their ass!” Andy said this as he emptied his glass of vodka.

No one said a word for a while. Then Minwoo chuckled, followed by Eric and soon all of them are laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

The Council of Elders is composed of 12 representative chosen by the Clan Heads. They create rules and arbitrate between warring clans. According to the Guilds history which was passed on from one generation to the next, it used to be that only those with Manna are chosen as Clan Head and to become a member of the Council of Elders one must possess both Manna and Skills of a Good Guardian. But power and the influence that comes with it, which the Council of Elders posses can blind a man’s true sense of right and wrong. Lack of Manna did not stop some conniving Clan Heads from seeking to be a member of the elite circle. Use of violence, bribery and sometimes blackmail is often use by those that seek to have a position in the Council.

Guardians on the other hand are like soldiers, their duty is to protect the interest of the Guild. This usually means that any group or person who try to usurp the territory where a Clan Member or Members are conducting business are usually eliminated. Sometimes Council Members use their influence and use Guardians to settle personal grudge or to serve their personal interest. Use of violence is quite common and even though time came when not a single guardian possess Manna, they make do with use of weapons illegally obtained for them by the council. Although they report directly to the Council of Elders and absolute obedience is expected from them, Guardians are still expected by their own Clan to always protect the interest of their CLAN first before anything else.

Nobody knew how The Guild was formed, but it was believed that there was once a time when being born to a clan means you have the manna in you. Even Watshi’s a person born with really powerful manna in them, are fairly common back then. But greediness and the quest for domination resulted in clan wars that escalated to a point that some clans practically vanished for lack of a direct male descendant to carry on the family name. It did not help that only males seem to possess active manna. Because of this, some of the Clan Heads decided to create The Guild to stop the clan wars and put a semblance of order in the chaos they themselves created. As the years pass, less and less male was born with the manna until it came to a point that a couple of generations were born with not a trace of Manna in them. Old Shin was the only one in his generation to be born with it and two more generations passed before the six of them came along. Their birth also assures the birth of more clan members with manna. When it was confirmed that Andy is a Watashi the whole Council celebrated in anticipation for the glory he will bring to The Guild.

This placed the current Council of Elders in a precocious situation. Experienced has taught them that attempting to control someone more powerful than them is a futile exercise. Old Shin is a testament of that. He once sent all Council Members scampering like scared dogs when he blew their cars in succession by throwing a big ball of fire on each of their cars parked in front of the building where they are holding a meeting. The Council never again tried to enforce their will on him after that. The current Council of Elders now can only do so much to force the six of them to do as they ordered.

Suddenly Eric, ask “So are you….I mean will you…….”, he was at lost for words.

“Are you going to go through with the wedding?’ Minwoo did the asking for him.

“Will you forgive me if I don’t?” Andy answered while pouring himself another drink.

“You can’t do that!” Dongwan blurted out.

“And why can’t I?”

“ C’mon, she’s Eric’s sister!” Junjin said.

“Correction, step sister!” Andy said.

“So what if she’s just his stepsister, Tammy is a nice girl!” Hyesung quipped in.

“That’s the point. She’s just his stepsister, you all know I cannot marry a woman without manna in her blood…and besides, I don’t approve of this arranged marriages.”

“Who said anything about consummating the marriage?” Eric said.

“Do you honestly believe the elders will not stop bugging us to have children? We all know the reason they want me to be the one to marry is because they are hoping I would be able to produce another watashi, preferably someone more filial and amicable to their demands!”

“You have to marry her Andy, you’ve made Dad lose his face to the Council of Elders one time to many. At least do his bidding just this once” Minwoo said in a calm voice.

Andy did not say anything to this because he knows it is the truth. There maybe no love lost between his father and him but he is still his son and it is his responsibility to uphold family honor. Taught to them since they were little tykes in their nappies, family honor, and obedience to elders, it was something Andy has been trying to escape from when he decided to exile himself in America.

It was a while before he spoke again.

“There is more to this that you guys are not telling me”

“We will tell you if you want to know, but once we do that your in it too!” Hyesung said.

Andy finished the last of his drink and stood up.

“Whatever it is I don’t want to know.”

But just as he was about to step away, Eric stretched out his long legs and blocked his path.

“Marry her, keep her safe but don’t consummate the marriage not until you’re sure you love her”

“And if I do as I please?”

“Then I’ll kill you myself”

“You know that’s a really stupid threat!” Andy said nonchalantly.

“Andy!” Minwoo said in a threatening voice.

“Alright, I’ll do it!”

***

Andy walked into the Westin Chosun Hotel, feeling like a lamb led to slaughter. The affair was supposed to be low key, with only immediate family members and high-ranking Council Members in attendance.

“I thought this is going to be a small affair? Why does it look like half of Seoul is in here? ” Andy said. He is very bored now and the sheer number of people alone is driving him crazy. The conflicting emotions he can sense from them is tiring him even more. When he was younger, he would always throw a tantrum whenever he finds himself in the middle of a crowd. Some people might think that the ability to sense other people’s emotion is a gift, but for Andy, it is a curse that his been trying to master since he was a small child. It is one of the reasons, why he hates crowds and always sought solitude.

Minwoo handed him a drink without answering him. He knew Andy’s mood is not going to improve anytime soon. He has warned his father about the peril’s of inviting so many people to attend the wedding. However, his father did not heed his warning because he was too happy and relieved that a clan war was prevented from escalating into a bloody free for all, that and the fact that Andy finally came home. As much as he hated to admit it, he sometimes envies Andy for being their father’s favorite. He saw how much the estrangement from Andy has taken a toll on their father’s health. But he cannot blame Andy either for running away. The Council of Elders can be very ruthless and manipulative. The only reason Andy was able to escape unscathed was because of Old Shin. He warned them that forcing Andy to bend to their will is like inviting the devil to dinner. He told them Andy would return when the need arises. Old Shin is a cranky old man during his good days, but he was the only one who was able to cajole Andy into continuing with the required training to become a Guardian. He could still vividly remember the day a very scared Andy comes running to their old teacher when he accidentally blew a very large statue in the entrance hall of their teacher’s estate. He got upset over something and blew the giant statue to pieces. Andy was only 5 years old then, too young to start training. Training of future Guardians usually starts at around 9 or 10 years old. But then Andy’s power was already manifesting itself that early that their parent’s deemed it necessary that he be trained to control it. The old man just laughed when he saw what happened to his precious statue. All of them are baffled as to why he just laughed, if it was any other students they were sure he would end up with sore bottoms and will not be able to sit down properly for days.

Andy was about to grab his 3^rd glass of martini from a passing waiter when Minwoo grabbed his shoulders to call his attention.

“What?!” He said this without bothering to hide the irritation.

“Your new in laws” Minwoo said this as he pointed to the new arrivals.

Mr. Mun , Clan Head of the Mun Clan was impeccably dressed in a boring black tie suite while his wife, Kim Hwan Min is wearing an eye blinding golden shift dress and big pieces of diamonds whose price alone is enough to feed a small African country for a year. She would have been a very beautiful woman if it were not for her thick make up, which she uses to camouflage the fact that she is already advancing in age. Her daughter, Kim Eun Mi, followed them. She is wearing a hideous silver shift dress and enough diamonds that one could mistake her for a chandelier if she stood long enough in one corner. She seemed to know everybody in the room and greeted anybody who would pay attention to her.

“Please tell me she’s step daughter no. 2!” Andy said with panic in his voice.

“What if she’s the future wife?” Minwoo said.

“Then kiss your fiancé goodbye because I’m blowing this place up” Andy said and he looks like he really meant to do just that.

Minwoo couldn’t help but grin. He wanted to tease his brother a little more but worried that he might really panic and blow something.

“Relax….. I wouldn’t betray you like that!”

“You better not!”

The whole hall became silent when the last of the Mun entourage entered the room. It was Eric, resplendent in a designer tuxedo and a very pretty girl wearing a simple empire cut dress. Her shiny black hair is styled in an elegant French bun, with only a small heart shaped earrings and matching necklace set in white gold to adorn her. She was wearing very little makeup, which highlighted the fairness of her skin and delicate facial features.

“My dear brother allow me to introduce you to your future wife”

A small smile escaped from Andy’s lips. But that smile disappeared the moment Eric handed her to him and whispered to his ears;

“Don’t let go of her ok, she’s not wearing her glasses and can’t see beyond 3 feet of her”

The prospect of being her walking stick the whole night did not please Andy at all but he faked a smile nonetheless.

The ceremony, conducted by a Justice of Peace, was followed by an elaborate dinner. It was a futile exercise of patience on Andy’s part. Both parents and almost all the clan elders kept reminding him the whole night to make little Andy’s quick as if he and Tammy just need to pop them into the oven and instantly there will be little brats in dirty diapers running all around the whole hall. It did not help that Tamara’s mood is very solemn the whole night. Andy could sense both desperation and sadness in her. She spent the whole evening looking at the floor and barely speaking at all. His new mother in law on the other hand is so happy she looks like she is going to break into a song and dance number anytime. She went from table to table, announcing how happy she is to have a watashi for a son-in-law. It took a lot of effort on Andy’s part to avoid getting near her the whole night.

Eric’s anger is getting into him too, despite his best effort to keep a safe distance from his new brother in law. But as the night wore on, Andy found himself on the bar, with an obviously drunk and angry Eric who is nursing his 20^th shot of Martini while caressing a smith and Wesson with his other hand.

“Are you going to use that or not?”

“Too many fucking witnesses!”

“Well you should have brought poison instead, that’s easier to use” Andy told him nonchalantly.

“Thank you; next time I just might do that!” Eric answered him still eyeing his stepmother with murder in his eyes.

“What’s your problem anyway?”

“Step mother number 3 and her brat of a daughter “

“I don’t want to ask why, but I’ll ask anyway!”

“Trust me you don’t want to know!” Eric said this as he poured himself another drink.

“Can I ask you a favor?” He added.

“What is it?” Andy said as he helped himself to what was left in the bottle Eric is drinking.

“Keep Tammy away from that witch, and while you’re at it keep yourself in a safe distance too!”

“Don’t worry I will” and at that moment Andy caused a glass of champagne to tip over and spill its content on his new wife’s stepsister’s dress.

Eric looked at him and the scene in the presidential table and said “When did you become this petty?”

“Nope just bored” Andy said while grabbing another bottle from a passing waiter.

“Where’s Tammy by the way?”

“I don’t know, your stepmother took hold of her earlier”

“Shit! I told you to hold on to her!”

“What exactly do you want me to tell your step mother? , No you can’t take Tammy with you to redo her make up because Eric ordered me not to let you anywhere near her”

Just at that moment Tammy, now wearing her granny eyeglasses came running into them. She looked visibly upset.

“What’s wrong?” Eric asked her.

“It’s Mama, she got mad at me when I asked her when we are going home. She said I am not going home with them anymore that I have to go home with my husband tonight. Please tell me it isn’t so!”

“Would you rather go home to that witch?” He asked her.

“Well….I…But…”

“Your better off going home with Andy than going back with them!”

“But I don’t have any other clothes with me and Mama….”

“Your clothes and stuffs were taken to Andy’s house this afternoon, didn’t you packed them yourself?”

“Yes I did. But I don’t want to………….!”

Eric took hold of his sister’s hand and looked at the finger where she is now wearing a wedding ring. Gently he said;

“We already talked about this right? You cannot live with me. As much as I want to get you away from that witch, I live a dangerous life, your better off with Andy.”

“But…”

“No but’s.”

“OK….but….well….Mama….”

“Hmmm….” Eric murmured patiently.

“Mama did not let me pack Samsoon…she said Andy will not like it”

Andy kept silent even after he heard her say his name.

Eric then said to her gently “You can stop worrying about Samsoon now, his in my car waiting for you. He wanted to come to your wedding but unfortunately they don’t allow teddy bears to attend weddings in here”

With this, she gave Eric a bear hug, completely ignoring her new husband seated right beside her brother.

“You’re the best brother in the whole wide world!”

“Off course” Eric said this with a hint of smile in face.

“Are we going home now?” She asked absentmindedly.

“Want to go home now?”

At the sound of Andy’s voice, she jumped on her feet; then slowly inched her way behind Eric to hide.

“Don’t worry, he may be a jerk half the time but he won’t harm you” Eric told her.

“So if I’m a jerk half of the time, what am I during the other half?” Andy said in answer to him.

“Don’t play smart ass with me Andy, I’m not Minwoo!”

Andy was about to give another smart aleck answer to his brother in law when he saw his now step sister in law sashaying in the middle of the hall going in their direction. Eric who also saw her coming their way stood up and gently pushed Tammy towards Andy.

“I think I’ll call it a night!” He said this while giving Tammy a peck on the cheeks.

“Going home so early my dear brother?” Andy’s new stepsister in law said this in an irritatingly singsong voice.

“I do have a job; unlike some people I know who can afford to spend the day lounging in bed”

She did not seem to mind this jab from Eric and instead turned to the newly weds.

“I think I haven’t said my congratulations yet to the newly weds, Congratulations!”

“Thank you!” Andy once again put on his fake smile.

“Tammy dear, aren’t you going to introduce your sister to your new husband?”

But Tamara remained silent while keeping her head down.

“Oh, still so shy. Since my step sister wouldn’t introduce me, let me introduce myself, Kim Eun Mi.”

“Andy” he said curtly.

“Please forgive my step sister; she’s always been a scared cat. She’s even scared of her own shadow”

At that moment, Minwoo walked over to them.

“Oh, Minwoo…I was just introducing myself to your brother, because nobody seemed interested in introducing me to my new brother in law. I never knew you have such a good looking brother, how come you never introduced him to me before?” She purred.

“Well good looks runs in the family.” Minwoo said with a smirk in his face.

Andy smiled his first genuine smile for the whole night. Expect Minwoo to turn on the charm when needed.

“I hate to rain on your parade brother, but it seems I will have to be your designated driver for the rest of the night. My jerk of a driver drank one shot too many”

Andy knew Minwoo only wanted to make sure that they got back to his house safely.

“In that case I’ll come with you!” Eric suddenly offered.

“I thought you wanted to go home now because you have work tomorrow” Eun Mi asked him.

“Yes, but I have to make sure that the two Mr. Lee behave like gentlemen in the presence of my sister”

“Oh come on you two. This is their first night as a couple. I’m sure Andy would like to enjoy some privacy with his new wife”

The malice in Eun Mi’s voice did not escape all of them. Andy’s dislike for his new wife’s stepsister grew rapidly after they had this conversation. Tammy who has remained silently stood beside him squirmed a little.

“I think we should go now. It’s going to be a long drive.” Minwoo said.

Andy was glad to go. The whole affair has tired him and his sure Tammy feels the same.

The guests accompanied the couple all the way to the front of the hotel. Minwoo took the driver’s seat while Eric sat beside him, Andy and Tammy has no choice but to sit at the back and keep up the appearance of a happy newly weds.

A block away from the hotel Andy noticed four cars following them.

“We have company.” Andy said.

“It’s ok, those are friendly company” Minwoo answered him.

“By the way somebody wants to say her congratulations!” Eric said while taking out a big teddybear from a paper bag and handing it out to his sister.

“Oh, Samsoon!!!. Thank you, Oppa!” Tamara could barely hide her happiness at seeing the very rumpled and old teddy bear.

“That’s Samsoon?” Andy said incredulously.

“Yes!” Eric said this as if it is the most normal thing in the world.

The four of them were silent for the remaining of the trip home. Tamara fell asleep cuddling her teddy bear. Andy wanted to sleep too but somehow it escapes him.

Two hours after they left Seoul, they turned right to a narrow, dirt road that goes uphill. It took another 30 minutes of slow driving before they reached their final destination. A large, thoroughly modern house greeted them. The house belongs to Minwoo but he let Andy moved in when he agreed to return to Korea. He knows his brother prefers the solitude a house like this gives him to the convenience of living in downtown Seoul. The house, built mostly using stainless steel, glass and stone looked out of place. Old trees and thick bushes densely cover the surrounding area. The car Minwoo gave to him as a welcome gift and two other luxury sports cars that Andy did not recognize already occupy the pebble-covered driveway.

“What took you guys so long?” Junjin shouted from the porch above.

“Everything ok here?” Minwoo said.

“Yup everything, ok! Hey, Andy aren’t you supposed to carry your new wife to her new home?!” Dongwan said teasingly to Andy.

“If I carry her, then she sleeps on my bed!” Andy said this without thinking about it much.

Eric immediately took a swing at him, which failed to hit Andy because Minwoo managed to hold him back.

“I’m joking ok!” Andy knew he should not have said that especially since Eric’s sister can hear everything they were saying.

He walked up to the house without even looking back. Eric took hold of his sister’s hand and escorted her to her new home.

Hyesung threw him a cold can of beer lights as soon as he stepped on the porch. It would have hit Tamara if it were not for his fast reflexes. He deftly opened the can with one hand while he used the other hand to take off his jacket.

“I see you guys have been having a private party of your own here!” He said this as he looked at the empty bottles of soju, canned beers and cigarettes butts on one of the table.

“Well we just want to celebrate your wedding!” Junjin said in jest.

“Oppa!” Tamara greeted the others casually.

Hyesung, Junjin and Dongwan all gave her a gentle sisterly hug.

“How come the three of you didn’t come for the wedding?” she said this. She seems less shy now and even looks comfortable in the presence of the other men.

“Well we were busy preparing our wedding gift for you!” Dongwan said.

“Really! What is it?” She seems genuinely happy that they thought of giving her a gift.

“Its inside” Hyesung said.

Tamara immediately run towards the door and almost hit the glass wall, if Andy did not hold her back.

“Look, where you’re going will you! Everything’s made of glass in here” He chided her while he opened the sliding door for her.

“What the fuck!” Andy said under his breath when he saw what they were talking about.

“Wow!” Was all she said as she looked at the gift the other three has given her.

The walls of the house, which are made of glass, are now covered with cut out stickers of pink flowers, hearts and teddy bears. A giant teddy bear sitting on a balloon-covered chair occupies one corner of the receiving area.

“The house is all made of glass, so we put stickers on the dividing glass panels and inner doors so you wouldn’t run into them,” Hyesung said.

“Wow, their so pretty!”

“You like it?” Dongwan asked her.

“Go and check the kitchen” Junjin said.

Andy immediately run into the kitchen and came back immediately looking like he has seen the grim ripper.

“What the hell did you do to my kitchen?” he said incredulously.

The kitchen, which was previously filled with black and silver kitchen appliances, now boasts of a fuchsia pink refrigerator, a dark pink microwave oven and matching stove and conventional oven. Andy even saw a hello kitty percolator, food processor, toaster oven and dishwasher. The rug is also in pink but darker in shade. Everywhere else Andy look, he sees nothing but pink. The white dining table and matching chairs are the only things he saw there that are not in a shade of pink. Even the pots and pans are in different shades of pink.

“Well silver does not look well with the color scheme so we thought of changing it to something that will match” Hyesung said this while trying to stifle his laugh.

“But why make it look, as if Barbie leaves in here?” He cannot believe his friends will do this to him.

Eric and Minwoo who has joined them in inspecting the house could barely control themselves from laughing. Andy hates pink; in fact, he does not like colorful stuff. He prefers dark solid colors. The only light color he likes is white and that is not even a color at all.

At this last comment, the other five could no longer contain themselves and laughed out laughed. Just at that moment, Tamara runs from the kitchen while shouting;

“I love it! I love it! I love it!”

She gave each of them a big bear hug but stopped when she reached Andy.

“Want to see your room?” Dongwan asked her.

Tamara immediately followed Dongwan. Andy wanted to see too, but stopped himself, because he really is not sure what he will do if he sees his room become Barbie’s room. That is when he realized there is only one room in the house.

“Wait a minute!, what did you guys did to my room?!” Andy demanded.

“Correction, your former room!” Hyesung told him while putting his arm around Andy.

“And where do you propose I sleep?” Andy said, he could barely hide his irritation now.

“Well brother I guess you will have to make do with the sofa in your office, until the contractors are done finishing Tamara’s room” Minwoo told.

“Why can’t she sleep in there? This is my house after all!”

“Andy, first of all, you maybe the one who is leaving in here now. But this is still my house.”

“You said I could use this place for as long as I want! And besides the sofa in the office is too small for me!” Andy said. He knows he is sounding liked a spoiled brat kid but the thought of sleeping in the small sofa in the small office he is currently using or even on the floor does not appeal to him. It used to be a video room, which Minwoo uses to play computer games. However, since Andy needed a place where he could continue doing his job as President of his company he turned the room into a home office. Half the space is occupied by a large mahogany desk where Andy does most of his work, and the other half is occupied by a small sofa. Even if he could afford to purchase a bigger day bed, there is just no space for it in the room.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind sleeping on the floor,” Tammy said. She sounded scared and Andy could sense panic creeping in her.

“No, you can go and use the room.” Minwoo told her gently.

“Why don’t you go and change, I sent someone to buy us some pizza” Eric told her gently.

“Hmmm…..oppah….” she said timidly.

“Yes?” Eric said.

“Can I have some ice cream too?” She said this in a sing song voice, obviously trying to charm her brother into giving in to her.

“I think there’s some left in the fridge” Junjin offered her.

With that Tamara left the six of them. As soon as she is out of sight, Minwoo smacked Andy on the head.

“What the hell is that for!” He complained loudly.

“For being a jerk!” Minwoo told him.

“And how about them, they just turned your house into a doll house!”

“Drop it!” Minwoo said curtly.

Andy walked out the porch again and sulked in one corner. Minwoo and the others followed him. None of them talked for a while.

“Look how difficult is it for you to bear this burden?” Eric asked him.

Andy did not say anything. Under normal circumstances, he would have found the situation funny, but being on the other end of this joke after a very trying and tiring day, Andy’s patience and sense of humor is already stretched thin.

“Why must it be pink?!”

At the mention of the word, the others started laughing again.

“There’s nothing wrong with the color pink” Hyesung said.

“It’s so girly!” Andy answered.

“Well, Tammy likes pink!” Eric said.

“How about me, will nobody ever consider what I want for once!” Andy said.

“Don’t worry you’ll get used to it!” Minwoo answered him while chuckling. The five of them are obviously having fun at Andy’s expense.

“Can she cook?” he asked absentmindedly.

“Andy, don’t even think of making her your personal maid!” Eric warned him.

“What the hell do you want me to do? I can’t fuck her, and if she can’t even cook you might as well take her back!” Andy said trying to sound angry but failing miserably.

“If I could I would!” Eric answered him in a solemn voice.

“Why can’t you?” Andy asked, curious now.

The others all looked at Eric, obviously waiting for him to answer this one.

“Andy you know why you were asked to come home right?” he answered.

“Yeah, to be a sacrificial lamb, to force our family to stop killing each other! Which is rather stupid may I say!”

“We know that! But try telling that to my father! His all about keeping the family honor. And I can’t see anything honorable in turning your back against your friends just because you’re scared of being the next target! ” Eric said.

“How so?” Andy asked.

“Because I think all this fighting is just a ruse to lure you back!”

“I feel so important now!........just to force me to comeback their willing to kill people!” He said this as downed the last content of his soju bottle.

“I’m not talking about the elders,” Eric said.

“And who is foolish enough to want me to come back?” Andy said.

“We don’t know!” Eric answered.

Chapter 3 Coming Soon!!!!

Chapter 1-SACRIFICIAL LAMBS, my official entry to Nanowrimo 2007

2008-01-16T01:17:00.000-08:00

For some reason I am not so happy with the result of my efforts for my very first Nano, so I don't think i will be posting it here. But I do not want to waste the more than 50K plus words I wrote and agonized over during that crazy month either so I decided I will post it here, it's my blog after all...hehehe.

While reading this I suggest you kick your inner editor out the window because I did not edit it at all. So what you will be reading is the actual result of the crazy month of November 2007, also known as NANOWRIMO 2007.

Chapter 1- Ghost from The Past

Andy kicked on the accelerator because there is nothing else in sight to kick. The call from Seoul is to be expected. He knew that ignoring the letters of summons would not work. The first time he received summon from his father he just threw the letter to the trash bin after reading its contents. All subsequent letters from him suffered the same fate. Now he sent in somebody he knew he would not ignore. This made him angrier. How dare he manipulate him this way?

He was so mad he almost missed his exit point. It would not be long now before he reaches his destination. The house he built from his own sweat and blood stood far up in the hill. Living in California with the danger of bushfire occurring every summer, did not stop him from building a house far away from other people. He likes the peace and solitude it affords him. He is not concerned with security either. Being the president of his own software development company that develops security software for big companies, Andy is confident that whatever he installs in his own home will work.

The gates to his home opened without any effort on his part. Like everything else in his house, the gates are computer operated and could recognize his car from a few feet away. However, he was surprised to see another car parked in the driveway. It was a silver sports car of the expensive variety. Nobody can get pass the security as far as he knows. He has tried using another car before to test the security features and the lasers installed burned all four tires of the car.

”Surprised?!” a voice coming from one of the upper windows pulled Andy out of his revelry.

The owner of the voice came out wearing nothing but swimming shorts. He stood an inch smaller than Andy but has a more muscular built and matching six packs. Which is not surprising at all because Minwoo, Andy’s older brother live a very active lifestyle that requires him to be always in good physical form.

‘I see there’s no need for me to ask you to make yourself comfortable?” Andy answered sarcastically.

“Is that the way to greet your hyung?”

“Hmm, shall I bow down then Minwoo hyung?!!” Andy said this with one eyebrow raised.

Minwoo ignored his brother’s bad mood and walked over to him to give him a hug.

“I see you’ve lost weight, but still as good looking since the last time I saw you”

Andy could not help but smile at his brother’s attempt to humor him. “Well I can’t help that, It’s probably in my blood!!!”

Both brothers grinned on each other until Andy noticed he is being soaked wet too.

“You’re wet!”

“Well I’m just relaxing my tired muscles in your lovely Jacuzzi, I would have enjoyed it more if there are sexy attendants to keep me company”

“I’m sorry about that, but unfortunately we don’t offer that kind of service here”

“That’s too bad!”

“I thought you’ll be coming next week?” Andy asked his brother while mindlessly pouring both of them a drink.

“The old man thought you might try to run on us so he asked me to come earlier”

“It’s been three months since he sent me his first letter. That would have been plenty of time for me to change address or move into another country”

“Don’t be too hard on him”

“And don’t tell me he suddenly misses me. His the one who told me never to come back even for his funeral”

“Well …..to be honest…..”

“How bad is the situation, for him to be this desperate?”

‘People are dying, and we don’t know why and who did it!”

“People all over die everyday for no reason at all…what’s the difference?”

“Look the elders want you back!” Minwoo blurted out. There is no use dilly-dallying now. Andy is no fool and he knew years before that the elders has pinned their hopes in him and his powers to bring back the glory days of the Guild.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Then we’ll die one by one without ever knowing who our real enemy is”

“The clans have been killing each for as long as they existed. Now that somebody has taken it upon himself to do that for them, their suddenly panicking?” Andy could barely hide the contempt in his voice.

“So you don’t mind seeing me dead?” Minwoo was surprised and hurt at the same time at Andy’s lack of empathy for their clan. He knew Andy walked away from them because he does not want to use his powers to be use by others to hurt another. But Andy's lack of concern for his own clan members rattled him to the core.

“Your one of the best there is, one of the few with real manna to speak of, I’m not that worried for you!”

“So is Old Shin and his now dead. Found in his room, no sign of forced entry. Looked like he fought to his last breath, but still his dead”

Old Shin is their former teacher. All male children of clans in their Guild train to become Guardians, but only few get a chance to become students of Old Shin. Usually those that have exceptional talent and are willing to work hard to possess the skills to make a good Guardian are trained by him. In their case both Andy and Minwoo, have the gift of Manna or Magik as ordinary mortals call these powers. Together with Eric oldest and only son of the Head of the Mun Clan, Hyesung from the Clan of Shin, Junjin from the Park Clan, and Dongwan, only male heir of the Kim Clan. The six of them has trained with Old Shin since they were young boys. This made them grow closer to each other and look after each like brothers will. All of them possess the Manna, this assured them a spot as Old Shin’s students and a sure future as a member of the Elite circle that are assured of a position in the Council of Elders once their current Clan Head either dies or become too old to perform their function. In the case of Andy and Minwoo, being brothers’ means that either Andy has to give way to Minwoo because he is older or Andy can become the Clan Head because he is the more powerful one. Andy walked away from everything his powers will give to live an ordinary life in America. This disheartened his father and caused him to lose face among the other Clans. It also strained the relationship between father and son. It caused much talk and became the topic of discussion among the clans, because the one they thought would bring back the glory days of the Guild turned their back on them even before he could be of full use to them. None of the Elders dared forced Andy to come back. Because truth be told, none of them possess the powers to defeat him, even Old Shin when they tried to pressure him to force Andy to return told them that his powers is beyond what their imaginations could fathom.

“Old Shin?, but how…..his old yes! But his no fool!.”

“We don’t know. That is why the elders are all getting agitated over this matter. When the others died it did not surprised them. There are very few of us that has been gifted with real manna and except for Old Shin, nobody in their generation is powerful enough to even protect themselves”

“Any idea why?”

“We have no concrete evidence, but it seems what this person or persons wants to happen is for there to be infighting between the really powerful clans.” Minwoo said.

“Our clan is currently at war with the Mun clan, and there are a few other small wars going on “ he continued.

“Isn’t Mr. Mun and Dad really close friends”

“Yes they did. But not anymore!”

“Why?’

“ Old Mun thinks Dad is the one who ordered old Shin dead. There are other reasons but I don’t know much about them. What I know is this, both of them are thinking the other betrayed them.”

“Why would Dad do that?!”

“Everybody knows you’re a watashi. The only watashi born for more than a hundred years.” Minwoo said this with a heavy heart. He knows his brother has refused to acknowledge how powerful he is. Even without much training, Andy’s power is such that even he is afraid to duel with him despite the fact that he finished his training under Old Shin and is one of the few Guardians who are actually gifted with the Manna.

“But how can they suspect me, I live halfway round the world”

“Well only a watashi or somebody really powerful can kill somebody as skilled and as powerful as old Shin”

“Then there must be another one in your midst nobody knows about” Andy said. He really does not want to know too much, because it might force him to become involved. But Old Shin is both a friend and teacher to him and Minwoo and to four others who showed strong manna at such a young age. However, unlike them Andy proved to be stronger than the lot, with powers far beyond what any of them could dream. He was Old Shin’s pride, joy, and the ultimate source of his fears. Andy knew this, because Old Shin himself told him so when he said he is moving away. Their old teacher explained to him his powers and what he is capable of; this strengthened his resolve to move away. He knows the elder will use his powers to their advantage and he does not want that.

“Impossible! There are only six of us who has the skills and power to kill the old man, and none of us would do it” Minwoo said this with much conviction. Old Shin may be a cranky old man and a difficult taskmaster even on a good day but he is a good teacher and everyone respects him. No one in the Council of Elders would dare to order his death; he is just too influential and has too many supporters.

Minwoo knew convincing Andy to return is next to impossible but his return to them is of outmost importance now.

“But what if it’s somebody who did not train with us? An illegitimate child raised outside the circle?”

Minwoo knew that is possible. Monogamy is common especially among the older generations. During the olden days, it was a means to strengthen the clans and assure its survival. Today, it has become some sort of a status quo among the Clan Elders to parade a new and younger wife every few years, like the way you show off a new car.

“Look why don’t just go back!”

“You know why?”

“So you are not coming back?”

Andy wanted to say no. Getting involved with the clan business is the last thing he wants. But he can’t find it in his heart to say no to his brother.

“What’s the deal?”

“Why should I tell you? I thought you are not interested”

Andy stood up and walked out to the deck. The sky is very clear and when he needed to clear his mind he would always come out there and would just gaze at the stars. The magnificent view of the sky day or night is one of the things that attracted him to this place. That and the solitude he craves. Sure, it could get lonely, but he knows being a watashi also means he cannot marry a woman not of his own kind. Those that do not have manna in their blood he can easily kill or hurt in a moment of passion. So he stayed away, hoping the powers he have that others crave will die with him. Old Shin himself told him that power in the wrong hands is disaster for others. It is one of the reasons why he left as soon as he has a chance, he does not want to become the source of other people’s sorrow.

He does not want to come back. But if Old Shin could be killed as easily as that then the majority of them do not stand a chance. There are only five active Guardians who could fight this unknown enemy and if infighting ensues, then their defeat is more than assured. He can stay away if he wants, but despite the difficult relationship, he has with his father he really cannot just stand back and watch his family massacred without a fight.

Minwoo, he is sure will do everything in his power to protect them but he is only one and there are at least a hundred or more family members who do not possess the power or skills to protect themselves. The other four Guardians he is sure would be in the same dilemma, and with Eric definitely siding with his family in this clan feud then they are one less of an ally. He is not sure about the other three. If they take side then it will be a free for all.

He did not notice his brother has followed him outside.

“The Clan Elders are mapping out a peace accord according to tradition”

“And that is?

“Forcing clans to make peace by marriage”

“Ridiculous! In this time and age, who follows the tradition of arrange marriages?’

“There are still some who does that”

“So who’s going to be the sacrificial lambs now?”

“Old Mun offered his youngest stepdaughter, Tamara”

“And who’s the other one?”

“You!”

“You people are crazy!”

“Desperately crazy”

“Why me and not you, your older and should marry first!”

“I’m sorry to inform you my dear brother but Dad will make another more powerful enemy if he marries me off now to another woman”

“You’re spoken for?!, why does that surprised me? Who’s the crazy woman who wants you for a husband?” Andy said with surprise in his voice. He felt guilty for not knowing that his own brother is already engage and he does not know anything about it.

“Somebody from the house of Shin” Minwoo answered. It was the truth but marriage for him and Yuri will have to wait. She is still in University and made it clear to him and her father that there will be no wedding until she graduates. That will be two more years of waiting for Minwoo.

“How come you never told me anything about this” Andy has temporarily forgotten that they are talking about his own betrothal.

“Well how can I tell you when you never call at all? And when I call you always say you’re busy!”

“I’m sorry about that, I’ve been busy” Andy knew he sounded stupid with that lie but what else can he say. The lack of communication on his part is intentional and Minwoo knows that.

“Too busy to even ask if your dear brother is still alive or not”

“So who’s this brave girl?” Andy tried humoring his brother.

“I’ll introduce her to you once we return to Korea” Minwoo said to him with a smile on his face. He does not want to involve Andy at all but desperate time’s calls for desperate measures.

The mention of Korea made Andy remember that they are talking about his impeding arranged marriage to a complete stranger.

“Who’s this girl again? The one you said Dad wants me to marry?”

“Curious are you?”

“Well who wouldn’t be, what if she looks like a gorilla or something”

“I assure you she’s cute and very nice”

“How did you know?’

Minwoo placed his arm around his brother’s shoulder and said, “Because I’m a good hyung so I personally checked her out for you!”

“You went to the Mun estate?. That is stupid! Eric or the others could’ve killed you while your there”

“Nope, Eric wouldn’t do that to his best buddy” Minwoo said this with confidence.

“But I thought our Clan is at war with theirs”

“Well technically we are, so is Hyesung and Junjin’s clans are at war with each other while Dongwan’s Clan is still undecided with whom to take sides, but us, next generation are keeping out of the old people’s business”

“So you’ve seen her?’

“Well there really is no reason to be worried my dear brother, I think you yourself know her too!”

“Who? Tamara? I know Eric has a stepsister but I’ve never met her”

“Ah yes, I’ve forgotten you’ve been away ten years now, you won’t know her because she was too young back then to be allowed to join in any of the Clan functions and Eun Mi came after you were gone.”

“Who’s this Eun Mi?”

“Stepsister number 2, but she’s older than Tamara, and you’ll be very happy to know that Dad did not choose her?”

“Why? Is she ugly as a bat?”

“Eun Mi?, No, she’s actually very pretty but in a cheap kind of way”

“When did you ever became that harsh, if I remember right, every girl is beautiful to you so long she’s a size 1 with a 24 inch waistline”

“Time changes my dear brother, I have found myself a good woman and I want you to have the same”

“And letting Dad marry me to a complete stranger is okay with you”

“Eric is not exactly a stranger to us”

“Time can turn close friends into strangers”

“You’re the one who left Andy, not us!”

“I know and I’m not sorry I did!” Andy knew he sounded harsh saying it but it’s the truth.

“So are you coming back?”

“I might but in one condition!"

“What condition?”

“Tell the clan elders I will do this enemy a favor and annihilate them all in one go if any of them ever attempts to get on my case”

“Ok noted! Anything else?”

"I’m doing this because I trust you.”

“I know”

“So when do I have to come?”

“Tomorrow! I already bought you a ticket and packed your bags”

“You’re that confident I will agree?”

“Actually just so you’ll know, there is plan B just in case you don’t agree”

“And that is?”

“Put a sleeping pill in your drink and smuggle you back home”

“You didn’t do that or did you!?”

Minwoo could not help but laugh seeing his brother’s reaction.

“That was the plan but I figured out my charm and convincing power is enough to convince you!”

“Pabo!”

“Thank you!”

The brothers spent the night talking their hearts out. Andy knew he might one day regret going back home but still, blood will always be thicker than water.

CHAPTER 2 COMING SOON!!!

24 hours....

2007-12-13T11:06:00.000-08:00

2 more hours before I cross the 24 hour mark (AGAIN!!) of being awake, I know it isn't much, I've gone straight without sleep for 3 days before (I was so close to going really crazy by the 3rd day) but doing it 2 days straight with only a couple of hours rest in between is plain crazy and bad for the health. I just hope all this sleepless nights are worth it!!!

Shinhwa Philippines

2007-12-13T06:58:00.000-08:00

Here's to the crazy, fun loving, Shinhwa obsessed and did I say crazy Shinhwa wives, girlfriends, and mistresses of Eric, Hyesung, Minwoo, Junjin, Dongwan and Andy!!!

CHEERS!!!!

your resident Orange Ghost

The Nano Month

2007-12-13T06:49:00.000-08:00

Everything that could go wrong did, computers suddenly freezing up and refusing to boot up, printer refusing to print from the main server but would print when using a secondary server (I swear whoever invented computer viruses should be condemned to a hundred lifecycles as a toilet paper!!!) bills piling UP, sales that refuses to go up, crazy customers, sleepless nights, software licensing problems, an underfunded cheque, the quest for the cheapest laptop I could find (which I literally said goodbye too when I have to make the painful decision to go purchase software license I can't afford ,I know it's the right thing to do. But RIGHT NOW I HATE BILL GATES and his overpriced softwares!!!). There are days I'm too tired I could barely concentrate. Thank God for Mari (a friend and fellow Shinhwa fan) who would ask me everyday what my word count is or how much I have written for the day because if nobody asked I probably wouldn't get pass 5000 words.

I finished 2 days ahead of schedule, (ok I cheated, I inserted a made up folklore into the story , gave way to my carnal desires and easiest word padding tool, love scenes...hehehe). I have an excuse for the folklore (I made it an important part of the story) the love scenes (just because....hehehe...but my male lead was HAPPY!!!! enough for him to cooperate till I reach 50,000 words).

Before I knew it the month of November is over and done with. I walked away with a .pdf certificate I could print if I want to, a cute Nano icon and a deeper understanding of why I did it in the first place, I Love to Write.

Even if sometimes what i write makes no sense to no one but myself (although there are times when even I couldn't make heads or tales of what I am writing), I still love it, and come November next year, I will do it again!!!! I just hope it won't be as crazy as my first Nanowrimo year!

Andy's 1st Digital Single

2007-12-10T05:41:00.000-08:00

Incomplete

2007-10-15T06:09:00.000-07:00

A fanfiction I wrote. The girl is a friend from one of the forums I frequently visit. Just to make things clear this all FICTION, none of the events happen in real life (although my friend fervently hopes it will). Featuring Shin Hye Sung of Shinhwa.

Incomplete

Whoo
Ooh
Oh yeah yeah
Bright lights
Fancy restaurants
Everything in this world that a man could want
Got a bank account bigger than the law should allow
Still I'm lonely now

Traffic is light for a Friday evening. Driving pass the fancy restaurants that he often frequent, Sungie continued driving with nowhere to go. He called Eric earlier but his out on a date with one of the many women that are occupying his time right now. Junjin is still in China, Minwoo and Dongwan are both busy with album promotion and Andy’s phone is unreachable. He knew he should be resting. However, Hyesung does not want to stay in his apartment. Even the computer games that he enjoys playing all the time feels boring now. He feels lonely and knows the reason why, but his pride is refusing to cooperate. All it would take is a single phone call but his stupid pride is paralyzing him.

Pretty faces from the covers of the magazines
From their covers to my covers wanna lay with me
Fame and fortune still can't find
Just a grown man runnin out of time

The phone rang, Hyesung checked and immediately turned off his cell. It was Cecilia, the French model, his manager introduced to him the other day. Pretty, tall, elegant looking, she is all that and more. She is fun, witty, and very worldly. The dinner they had ended with him invited to her bed. Sure, it was fun and she is as good as she say she is. By the time it was over, he felt emptier than he felt in days. She is a warm body who willingly offered him a quick roll in the hay. No man in his right man would actually say no to such a creature of beauty. Unless if he is a man hopelessly in love with somebody else.

[CHORUS]
Even though it seems I have everything
I don't wanna be a lonely fool
All of the women
All the expensive cars
All of the money don't amount to you
I can make believe I have everything
But I can't pretend that I don't see
That without you girl my life is incomplete

He left the bright lights of Seoul without realizing it. The streets in this side of town are narrower and instead of brightly lit commercial establishments, there are only low cost hostels everywhere he looks. Most of the residents here are foreigners working in the many commercial establishments in Seoul. Housing here is cheaper than in downtown, that is why foreigner’s flock here. Without meaning to, he found himself parking the car in front of a well kept but obviously old apartment complex. Checking his watch, he knew that the person he wants to see is probably inside one of those small apartments. She probably is back from work now, cooking dinner while doing her laundry or checking her emails. Her ability to multitask amazes him sometimes. She will make a good wife to any man. However, she is also very independent and outspoken, something that always collide with his idea of how a perfect wife should be.

He was already in the elevator before he caught himself asking what he is doing there in the first place. Will she even give him the time of day? “Just do it Pil Gyo!”, he silently told himself

Said without you girl ahh

Your perfume
Your sexy lingerie
Girl I remember it just like it was on yesterday
A Thursday you told me you had fallen in love
I wasn't sure that I was

They met in one of the many secret trips he takes whenever things get too crazy in Seoul and he wants to play around without worrying about the press and the fans catching on. She was in Bangkok for a 3-month company sponsored training and he was there for some good time. It started simple enough, he was drunk already and she seemed to be willing company. But the moment he kissed her, he knew it was something else. Despite her bravado, he knew she is not used to playing this kind of games. Still his alcohol-addled brain told him to ignore this warning signs. In the 3 months that she was there, he came and visited her more than 10 times. He can feel her honesty when she mumbles “I Love You” in his ears whenever she thinks his already asleep. He pretended not to hear because he was not sure if he feels the same.

It's been a year
Winter summer spring and fall
But bein without you just ain't livin ain't nothing at all
If I could travel back in time
I'd relive the days you were mine

Then the recording for his second album started. At first, he would call her and she does not seem to mind at all his continued absence. Then the phone calls became less frequent and whenever she takes the initiative to call he would feign being busy. She even applied to transfer to Seoul so that she could be near him. In the beginning, he would visit her but his manager warned him about keeping it private. She obliged to all his request for secrecy to a point that none of her friends and family does not know about him. The busier he got the less they saw of each other. He has thoughts of asking her to move in with him but his manager stopped him and warned him against going through with it. Slowly they drifted apart, she in her attempt to give him the space he wants and he because of the album recording. Until both of them lost touch and he heard nothing from her again, sure there are days that he felt guilty for ignoring her but he knew deep within that he was just scared of asking himself how he really felt.

[CHORUS]

Oh yeah that without you girl ahh

I just can't help lovin you
But I loved you much too late
I'd give anything
And everything
To hear you say
That you'll stay

He knocked 3 times before somebody came and answered the door. She has not changed much, maybe lost a little weight. She is wearing the shirt he gave her as a joke one time she dragged him to watch Minwoo’s concert incognito. It was a merchandise T-shirt for his first concert. He was busy that time preparing for the concert but somehow he found the time to accompany her. He has watched Minwoo performed before both as a member and as M. However, it was the first time he would be watching him incognito, playing the role of a suffering boyfriend every time she would shout and wave a placard with M’s picture in it. The next day after the concert, he sent her the shirt and told her he was offended by her action the day before and she could only make up for such wanton display of affection towards another man by wearing this shirt the next time they see each other highlighting the words “THIS SHIRT AND NOTHING ELSE” . She answered back by saying he was just jealous. The messages flew back and fort but the next time he came over to her apartment, sure enough she was wearing it and nothing else. That was months ago.

If she were surprise by his sudden visit, she did not show it. She opened the door and let him in without saying a word.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, I was just driving by and saw your apartment light was on, I thought I might drive by and say hi” in all honesty Hyesung does not know what else there is to say to her.

“It’s ok, it’s not a bother at all” she answered in monotone.

Hyesung looked around and was struck at how oddly familiar and comfortable being in her apartment felt. The small apartment still look the same, the drab paint, the creaky sofa, the faded carpet, but what struck him the most is the smell. It was a pleasant smell of her favorite cologne mixed with the sweet scent of freshly laundered clothes. Sure enough, he caught a glimpse of newly washed linens on the makeshift laundry lines she has in her bedroom. That’s when he caught sight of a big box left open.

“Sending gifts home?” he asked her. It first baffled him when he first encountered the practice of sending what they call a “balikbayan box” to folks back home.

“No” she answered him without explaining.

He noticed that unlike the last time, this time she is wearing cut off jeans with the shirt. “Why have such a big box then?” He asked.

“I’ll be moving back to Manila, my flight is the day after tomorrow,” she answered curtly.

The sense of panic that enveloped Hyesung surprised him. He felt the blood drain from every nerve in his body.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes, I asked for a transfer” she said in the same dispassionate voice.

“Why?”

“I don’t need to explain anything to you!” she said.

He stood there rooted to where he is standing. He wanted to kick himself for his stupidity, for neglecting her and lastly for not saying how he really felt.

[CHORUS (2x)]

Without ya girl
Without ya girl my life
Without you girl
My life my life is incomplete
Without you girl
My life is incomplete
Oh yeah
My life is incomplete
Oh yeah yeah
Whoo

It took his manager a month before he could arrange a way to see her again. Getting to Manila was easy enough what prove to be difficult is coordinating the schedules of all the other members. Andy for one is only available certain days, Minwoo and Dongwan on the other hand have to do a lot of rescheduling just so they could give in to his request. Junjin has to cancel a photoshoot. Only Eric is available but that is because he is not doing any new project yet.

Nobody knew that Shinhwa is coming to Manila except for a contact his manager managed to befriend online. She is a Shinhwa fan but promised them that she will be very discreet. She helped them arrange their hotel reservation and even manage to get info’s about an informal gathering of Shinhwa fans that will meet that same afternoon. She assured them that the object of this clandestine visit would be there. At least this is what the organizer of the said affair told her.

Hyesung did not say a word throughout the trip. The other members would grin at him but also did not say anything. Missy, their contact and their manager are the ones who attempted to keep a conversation going. He knew she fancies Andy but she kept to herself and did not attempt to start any conversations at all with him. He reminded himself to properly introduce the two later. She seems to be a nice girl, well grounded with a quirky sense of humor. “Pil Gyo, why the sudden urge to be match maker?” he silently asked himself.

Their manager is concerned about security but Missy assured them that no one knew they are coming. It was not long before they reached their destination. One of her friends sent a message that the person he wanted to see just arrived. Suddenly his heart beat faster and he felt beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Missy gave him a reassuring smile.

“Ready?”

“Yes” He lied.

One by one they alighted from the vehicle with Missy leading the way. He heard a gasped coming from the inside of the house followed by a shriek. Somebody recognized Eric.

Somebody ran from inside the house to meet Missy. From the open window, he saw them appear one by one, but still the one person he is seeking is not one of them.

An uneasy silence greeted their unexpected arrival. Missy just grinned at them as if a mischievous child caught doing something she was not supposed to do.

Then she appeared, she looked well rested but he can sense how unhappy she is.

“Hi” he heard himself say. He knew he should say something else but words fail him now.

He felt somebody gently pushed him forward. Looking back he there was Eric and the other members giving him a reassuring smile.” He saw her hold back her tears but failed miserably. With both his voice and knees shaking, he went down on his knees and took out the small red box he has been guarding with his life from the time they left Seoul.

“Riel, my midnight girl, will you marry me and make my life complete?”

2007-09-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I wrote something that I'm happy with. Lately I have been stuck in starting a story, organizing it and later shoving it to the back burner because I don't know what to do with it anymore. I've been contemplating on my buying myself a low end laptop so I can write anytime, anywhere I want to. I now wonder if this will solve my problem. Hmmm......decisions...decisions...

2007-09-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

I am now torn between buying myself a new laptop (I don't mind if it's low end) and a new digicam OR paying my damn credit cards and using it (again!!!when the hell do I get out of this DAMN CREDIT CARD DEBTS) to buy my grandma a small mini refrigerator. Sure she could live without one, but it would be so much convenient for her (and for us when we go to her home to visit) if she has one. Besides it would surely make her happy, even if she will deny it to death.

Shall I be a good grandaughter and buy her one or should act the selfish and self centered person and let my parents figure out where to find the money to buy her one. WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Why can't I act ;ike a selfish brat just this once?

LONG ROAD HOME: MINWOO'S ROAD HOME

2007-09-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

Long Road Home: Minwoo’s Road Home

Chapter 1

He tried his best not to cry, he knew that the more he cries the more she beat him up. It will be over soon he told himself. She’s already drunk and stoned that she won’t have the energy to beat him up for long. Minwoo can’t even think of a reason why she is beating him up, then he told himself she don’t need a reason to beat him up, she just does.

It was soon over and Minwoo tried not to move too much because if he does it might agitate her again and the beating would start all over again. The woman he calls “Mother” finally stopped, struggling to keep her footing, she picked the last bottle of soju on the table and drink all of it in one go. She passed out within minutes.

Minwoo waited a couple of minutes before slowly uncurling himself, every bone and muscle in his body protesting more from the beating it receive than anything else. He knew he has to leave this house before she woke up or she could end up beating him to death. Slowly he tiptoed out of the room. It didn’t help that he was limping and he himself is not sure whether she managed to break any of his bones like the last time she has one of this episodes.

With blooded hands he slowly reached to his secret hiding place for his few precious possession, an old Polaroid photograph of a young woman and an older man, an old calling card and a few loose bills. Still limping, he walked out of the tiny room he shared with his mother. He did not even took a last look at his mother, he doesn’t want to see, doesn’t want to remember the woman who gave him life but made every minute of it a living hell.

******

He walked as fast as his limping legs would let him, unmindful of his grumbling stomach and the bruises all over his face and body. The bus station for buses that leave for Seoul is quite far from where they live, but he managed to arrive a few minutes before the last bus left. Slowly he lowered his weary body on the last available seat at the back; Minwoo did not even look out the window to see his past fade away from sight slowly. He promised himself that no matter what happens he is not coming back. Instead he looked at the faded photograph, at the father who doesn’t even know that he exists.

Chapter 2

Lee Kwan Dae walked past the reception area without so much as a glance, Junjin’s soccer match is going to start in an hour and he wants to be there for the opening ceremony. It doesn’t really matter if he came in early or late. Jin never knows anyway. He usually is so concentrated on his games he never pays attention to the crowd. Besides that Kwan Dae never bothers to let his presence be known. He knows that Junjin sometimes felt pressure whenever he knows that he is there.

At one corner of his eyes he caught site of a lanky young boy around 10 or 11. He’s got bruises all over his face and he looked like he is badly in need of a bath. Kwan Dae muttered to himself, how parents nowadays don’t bother to teach their kids about the importance of appearance. He saw the young boy walking towards his direction. He can see that he was slightly limping and for reasons unknown to him he stopped dead on his tracks. He just stood there and watched the young boy slowly limped his way towards his directions. Under normal circumstances he would have walked away. He is a busy man after all and has neither time nor patience to deal with vagrants. But there is something about that boy that caught his attention. As he has suspected the boy stopped in front of him. Unconsciously Kwan Dae felt into his pockets for some loose change but did not find any. He was about to turn to Mr., Ho Dong his head of security when instead of asking for money the boy began talking to him.

“Excuse me sir” Minwoo said.

The burly man standing a little behind the man he believes to be his father started towards his direction. He knew he has to move fast or lose this chance.

“Are you Mr. Lee Kwan Dae?”

Kwan Dae motioned for Mr. Hodong to let the boy speak. If there is anything that can catch Lee Kwan Dae attention that is boldness and from what he can see this boy might just have heaps of it if he doesn’t anything else. He did not answer him but just looked at him in the eye.

“I’m Lee Minwoo, the son of King Shin Bin”

Lee Kwan Dae tried to search inside his brain for anything that would remind him of the name but he came up with nothing.

“So?” He said impatiently.

“I just want to give you this.” He gave him the faded photograph and old calling card.

Puzzled now, Kwan Dae took the photograph from the boy. It was a faded Polaroid shot. He saw himself seated beside some woman whose name and face he can’t remember at all. He looked at the boy again, thinking if he is some sort of hustler. But he looked too young to be one. He looked around looking if the boy is with somebody. Seeing nobody that looked suspicious he turned towards the boy again.

“Who are you and what do you want?”

“She told me that man is my father”

“Then she is lying, I don’t know this woman”

“She used to worked in a karaoke bar as a singer, she told me you tip really well and was very generous with the ladies”

“You want money?”

“No, I just want to see who you are…. Now that I’ve seen you I’ll go away now”

And with that Minwoo walked away without even looking back. He did not bother to take back the photograph. He has no need for it. He came here to look for his father, all he wanted was to see him in the flesh, and he did not expect anything else.

He did not notice that Kwan Dae was still standing on the same spot looking at him.

Chapter 3

Minwoo found himself in an almost empty park. It was almost winter season now and people are not exactly too keen in staying outdoors. He can feel his stomach grumbling again and he realized that he hasn’t eaten anything else since the morning of yesterday. It’s nothing new to him. His mother never exactly cared whether he has food to eat, so long as she has her soju she’s happy, that’s all that matters to her.

He tried searching for his pocket for some loose change and found a quarter. It was his last money. It was already getting dark and he has nowhere else to go. Yesterday was not a problem because he slept on the bus. He decided to use his last quarter to buy himself a mint candy. It was all that he can afford. Slowly savoring the mint in his mouth he slowly walked around the park looking for an inconspicuous place to rest his tired body.

He found an empty bench in the more secluded area of the park. Still moving carefully he manages to lie flat on his back. He can feel every muscles of his body complaining of pain, it doesn’t help that the clothes he was wearing are thin and worn and he can feel the cold slowly enveloping his body. He looked at the clear blue sky and wished that tomorrow he won’t wake up. He doesn’t want to wake, there’s no reason too.

Minwoo what are you thinking? He asked himself. She did say he did not know that she was pregnant and if only she knew a way to contact him she would have asked him for money. Then they wouldn’t be so poor. The business card she nicked from him the night he took her from the club for some private fun was for his office and apparently they screened all his calls. She couldn’t get through and when she tried to go there she was refused entry. And from that day she blamed Minwoo for being born, for cutting short whatever singing career she has, and for ruining her life. She made sure Minwoo knew this, made sure he pays for whatever sins she thought he committed against her.

Minwoo tried to change position only to realize that if he does the pain will return again. “She probably broke a bone like the last time” he told himself. Because he couldn’t stand the pain he went back to lying on his back. He whistled himself to sleep.

***********

Ho Dong watched the boy attempt to sleep on his side but immediately went back to lying on his back. From the little light there is he could see that he was in pain. He has been watching him for hours, from the moment he walked away from President Lee Kwan Dae, up to now. He really can’t understand why his boss wants this boy followed; surely he can’t believe this boy’s tall tale of being his son. But then his boss does have many sons, all from different women. He sometimes pities them for having him for a father. His boss is a kind man he knows that, but he isn’t exactly known for being a warm person. It sometimes baffles him how he manages to charm all his women. Well he doesn’t need to be charming not when he is already one of the riches man in the region, Ho Dong told himself.

He heard the boy whistling, but it wasn’t for long. “His probably asleep now” he told himself. He started the car, careful as not to make too much noise. Taking a second look at the now sleeping figure, Ho Dong saw that he was very still. Whether it was plain instinct or something else, Ho Dong found himself walking towards the boy.

He was cold to the touch, which did not surprise Ho Dong as the boy was wearing threadbare clothes. He was a police officer before he became Pres. Lee Kwan Dae’s head of security and personal driver. Years of experience has taught him to trust his instinct and his instinct told him something was wrong. His hand automatically went towards the pulse. He could hardly feel any signs of life in there. He immediately picked up his cellphone and dialed 911, this boy is not going to survive the night if left there alone.

********

Ho Dong was surprised when Pres. Lee Kwan Dae appeared at the hospital to personally check on the boy the next morning. After he called an ambulance to take the boy to the hospital, he called his boss. He was instructed to stay there and make sure that he is well taken care off.

“Is he ok now?”

‘The Doctor said he would have died if we brought him in too late” Ho Dong answered his boss.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Apparently everything, he has a broken rib, his got bruises old and new all over his body, his nose was broken , his malnourished and suffers from dehydration, and Doctor’s are also testing for infections, his knees are…….” Ho Dong would have gone on and on if President Lee Kwan Dae did not cut him off.

“Tell the Doctor to perform DNA testing. I can have my blood drawn today”

Ho Dong did not bother to ask his boss why. There is no use asking him that whenever he uses that tone of voice. Immediately he left the room to tell the Doctor of his boss request.

It only took a couple of minutes for a nurse to draw blood samples from Pres. Lee and Minwoo. Ho Dong was instructed to go home and rest. A private nurse was commissioned to look after the boy.

Chapter 4

Minwoo knew there was something different the moment he opened his eyes. For one he was sure the bench he slept on last night was hard and cold. But now it was soft and warm, and the sky was too white too.

“So finally you’re awake” it was the same man who was with the man he talked to yesterday.

Minwoo attempted to get up but failed.

“Don’t move, I’ll just call a doctor”

Minwoo did as he was told because he couldn’t do anything else. His body simply refused to move.

A doctor entered and checked on him. He found out that he has been asleep for almost 3 days now. That the reason he could barely move is because he has bandages covering various parts of his body where his bones are broken. The doctor did not take long, just asked him a couple of question and then she left, but the man stayed and just looked at him.

“Sir, can I have some water please”

The man did not say a thing but gave held a bottle of water with a straw for him to drink.

After having his fill he went back to staring at the man who also did the same to him.

“How did I get here?…what happened to me?”

“I was going to ask you the same. How you managed to break almost every bone in your body within a few hours of your conversation with my boss?” Ho Dong knew he did not do anything to get hurt but still he asked the question.

“Oh, my bones are broken….must be because she hit me a little harder than usual.”

It didn’t take much effort on Ho Dong’s part to know how the boy’s mother mistreated him. He didn’t even need to show any sympathy because the boy doesn’t seem to want one. He was telling it in a matter of fact manner as if a mother beating her child until his bones are broken is the most normal thing in the world.

Little by little he managed to piece together a more vivid picture of the person behind the faded photograph. Minwoo said that was what the boy said his name was; that she used to be a singer in a high class karaoke bar. He doesn’t know much because she would only talk about her past whenever she gets drunk and high on drugs. He said that the photograph was something she showed him during one of her drunken state. He also said that she would usually beat him up whenever she gets drunk and blame him for all the misfortune that befell her. That Lee Kwan Dae would have bought her a house and a car and give her lots of expensive jewelry if she didn’t get pregnant with Minwoo.

Ho Dong knew that at least in that aspect Minwoo was right, his boss is indeed quiet generous when it comes to his women. But the woman was wrong in her assumption that he abandoned her because of Minwoo, on the contrary if he knew that Minwoo existed he would have given her all that she wants and more. Ho Dong knew his boss’ taste for women, he likes them with a touch of class, not necessarily rich but those that can carry themselves real well, he likes women whose beauty is matched only by their intelligence. He knew that every now and then he would stray from this types and bed women with questionable reputations who lack the class and refinement he likes the most but that relationship does not go beyond that of having a female body to keep him warm at night. The man simply has a high standard when it comes to his women.

The boy soon tired of telling him of his stories. He was asleep not long after.

Ho Dong immediately called his boss to give his report. He then made a couple of phone calls to some old friends of his in the force to check out on Minwoo’s story. It would only take a while before everything he said can be confirmed.

Chapter 5

Unexpectedly the boy’s story was confirmed. His mother does have a long list of criminal record. One of his informants said that the woman is a chronic drinker, that she’s into prostitution and there are rumors circulating around the neighborhood that she’s also into drug trafficking.

Ho Dong would have continued reading the report if his boss didn’t call him. It was still quiet early in the morning but he knew his boss is an early riser.

“Did you find anything?” Kwan Dae asked him.

“His story jibed with the report I got from my sources, drugs, alcohol, petty theft, and prostitution, name it and she probably got a record to show for it. The neighbors also confirmed that she does beat him up regularly especially when she’s drunk”

“That’s all?”

“Yes sir, that’s about it”

“Have the result of the test come in yet?”

“Yes sir, I already have it. I will bring it to the office later”

“Good do that. Thank you”

“You’re welcome Pres. Lee”

Lee Kwan Dae continued staring at the young woman on the faded photograph, asking him what drove her to do that to her own son. He still can’t remember her, he usually has a good memory of every woman that came his way but she is a big blur to him. He must have been so drunk that time for him not to remember.

**************

Lee Kwan Dae no longer knows how long he has been staring at the piece of paper on his hand. He was silently asking himself why he was surprised at all at the result of the DNA test. He wouldn’t admit it but he felt something for the boy the moment he laid eyes on him. It’s certainly not the look for he looked so much like his mother, but there is something in the boy’s eyes that caught his attention. His a fighter that one, his sheer determination to see him and then walking away without so much as a glance when Kwan Dae told him he didn’t know his mother simply impressed him. That fire, he can see that in his other sons too. Eric the quiet one, he has silently bore the burden of people talking behind his back for having so many half brothers and parents whose extramarital affairs would have made headlines if both of them do not take extra care to avoid a scandal. Dongwan who wouldn’t stop until he masters something he has set himself up to learn. He also has to do an emotional juggling act because both parents are barely civil to each other. Hyesung, the one after Eric who lives in America with his mother is the same. She said told him that not only is he is he doing well in school, he also manage to earn a black belt in Taekwondo, the youngest and only one in his year to do so. And Jinnie the youngest one, he may not have the fire his elder brothers have in their eyes, but his competitive enough and have the intelligence to match. It’s just that unlike them he grew up pretty much isolated from the burdens they carried, he grew up with him but most of his upbringing can be attributed to Mrs. Kim the head maid. Cho his wife accepted him in their home but pretty much left him to his own devices. So he grew under the care of Mrs. Kim who proved to be a blessing in disguise. Jinnie grew up well adjusted and well, happy and more playful as compared to Eric or Dongwan.

Lee Kwan Dae put the piece of paper in his pocket. He knows now that Minwoo is indeed his son. There are many details that need to be taken care of but for now, he has a meeting with Cho that cannot wait.

The End

LONG ROAD HOME : HYESUNG’S ROAD HOME

2007-08-26T03:47:00.000-07:00

LONG ROAD HOME : HYESUNG’S ROAD HOME

The clock on her dashboard said it’s already 11 past 12, and all the lights in their house are already turned off. “Sungie, must be sleep already” she told herself. Silently she thanked the heavens for giving him to her. His responsible boy….no…young man she corrected herself. His almost a head taller than her now and from the looks of it he might grow some more.

She parked as silently as she could. Their garage was made for two cars, but so far Sungie does not seem too inclined to have his own car. This made life easier for her because then she did not have to suffer the same anxiety suffered by other parents with teenage kids.

Turning the lights on, she found him asleep on the sofa surrounded by his books and magazines. She would have left him there because she knew that once he wakes up he would make his way upstairs to his room on his own. But something caught her eye. A thick book with a mixture of characters and letters written in front, a Korean English Dictionary. Slowly she flipped through the other books and magazines, half of them are in Korean too.

“His learning Korean” she silently told herself. She could feel her knees shaking. She knew that sooner or later his going to fly the coop. He only has a few months left in high school and she knows he got what it takes to get into an Ivy League school. His too good to be stuck in a community college, but Korea is too far she told herself.

She felt him move beside her. Getting up even before opening his eyes, “Mom is that you?”

“Yes, honey it’s me, did I wake you up?”

“Nahhh”

With his eyes half opened now, he saw that his mother was holding the dictionary he just bought that morning. Without saying a word he took it from her hand.

“Would you like to eat? I made some crab soup”

“Sure I would love that”

Together mother and son walked their way to the kitchen. Hyesung half feeling his way towards the kitchen because he is not fully awake yet. His partially on autopilot now. But Samantha knew that he’ll be fully awake by the time the soup is heated. The soup smells nice and the French toast he made to match looks just as heavenly. It sometimes surprised her at how good he is at the kitchen. She’s a full time career woman and part time soccer mom. Running you own law firm is not an easy task and you just have to sacrifice some things. In her case she sacrificed the delight of home cooked meals to easy to prepare and more convenient microwave foods. Until now she can’t figure out how her Sungie learned his way around the kitchen. He definitely did not learn that from here.

“That looked good!” Samantha tried to sound enthusiastic.

“I’m glad you like whatever I prepared for you”

“Even if it’s just burnt toast you know I’ll eat so long as you’re the one who made it”

“I never burnt toast before”

“Yes you did”

“I did?”

“When you were 7, it was your first time to try to cook me breakfast”

“Oh that….I did not know how to use the toaster yet”

“But I still ate it didn’t I”

Hyesung without prompting leaned his head on her shoulder.

“What are you going to do when I’ m gone?”

“Eat plastic?” Samantha tried to make light of things.

“I’ll be off to college soon….”

“Yeah I know…..when that time comes I’m going to miss you…”

“No mom…what I mean is…”

“Honey you don’t need to explain anything…you’re a responsible son…I trust your judgment”

“I didn’t mean that…”

“Honey, if what you want is to travel to Korea before you go to college. Then go ahead. I won’t stop you. I’m sure your Dad will be happy to finally have a chance to have you stay with him”

“I want to go to college there”

This surprised Samantha, she knew that Hyesung has been studying hard because his aiming for a place in an Ivy League school. He never mentioned anything about wanting to move to Korea.

“Mom, I know…it’s just that…”

“Honey, I’m honestly surprised…..but why…?.....Don’t bother explaining…I mean….you never said anything about wanting to study there”

“I know, it’s just that…you know I’m interested in going into business right…and you said Dad is a very good businessman”

“Yes”

“I just thought I could work as an intern for him while getting my degree. To get my foot at the door before anybody else”

“Honey you don’t need to explain anything”

“I need to tell you, I don’t want you to be upset at me for not even trying to get into Harvard like what we’ve always planned for.”

Samantha was speechless for a while.

“Mom, your not mad at me right?”

“Of course not, why would I be. I know there are very good universities there too!”

“But not as good as Harvard?”

She’s a Harvard alumni and pretty proud of it.

“Well yes, but where you study can only get you so far. Sometimes one’s perseverance and hard work is more important and of course how you use your grey cells are important too.”

Hyesung laughed at his mother’s attempt at humor.

For a while mother and son silently sat together with Hyesung picking on his mother’s food once in a while.

“Do you think he would like me?”

“Who you’re Dad?”

“Yes”

“Of course!”

“I’m scared”

“There’s nothing to be scared of …..his not going to win Father of the Year Award but I’m sure he’ll be happy to have you with him”

“He never calls”

“That’s because his a busy man, but at least he never forgets to send you gifts during your birthday and Christmas”

“It’s not the same”

“I know, but hey at least you don’t need to explain to him why you want a new oven for your 10^th Birthday”

Hyesung giggled.

“I just wished…”

“I know, I’m sorry for not choosing a better man for a father for you!”

“That’s not what I mean”

“I now wished I made more effort to be there for you”

“Mom, you were always there for me”

“But I was always late”

“But you were there”

“Please don’t blame your Dad for not being there, he would have, but we live halfway around the world from him”

“ I know”

And then without prompting Hyesung hugged his Mom.

“I love you. You’re the best mother for me”

“ I know honey….but I am not the best cook am I”

“ No that’s me!”

Mother and son laughed at their own joke.

“I’m going to miss you when you go away”

“I’m going to miss you too……..who’s going to cook for you now?

“Well I do know how to cook”

“Mom heating something on the microwave does not count”

“Don’t worry about me too much….I’m a big girl I can manage”

“If ever I decided to stay there for good, will you get mad at me?”

“Honey that’s silly! Why would I do that, I’ll feel bad but you know I’ll never be mad at you”

“I just want to know that. If ever I do that will you come and visit me?”

“Of course, not even your father can keep me away”

“I don’t think he stand a chance with you!”

“You bet!...want me to call him for you?”

“You’re going to do that?”

“I’ll tell him you want to go there to study and he better make sure his women treat my baby right or I’ll sue his pants off!’

“Mom, did I ever tell you your scary, no wonder Dad stayed so far away!”

Samantha said nothing to this.

“Mom, I’m sorry I did not meant it that way”

“There’s no need to apologize dear, your father and I. I don’t think we’ll last anyway. I’m too tough for him and honestly I don’t think he can stand to leave Eric to Cho. His not the best husband in the world but I know he’s a good father”

“Why? Because he refused to leave his real wife for you because of his son?”

“No because he acknowledged all of you as his own. Very few men of his standing would actually go out of their way to that!”

“But it’s not right to have so many sons from different women”

“Yes, but nobody’s perfect. He probably thought it was the most important thing in the world….to acknowledge his flesh and blood. Why don’t you go to bed. I’ll clean this up”

“Are you sure?”

“Honey I do know how to wash the dishes’

****************

Samantha put down the phone and looked at the clock, almost 3 in the morning. She did not realize she has been talking to Lee Kwan Dae this long. They’ve never talked to each this long. Yes they communicate on a regular basis because of Sungie but she herself was surprised at how excited he sounded when she told him about Hyesung’s plan to go to Korea to study and to apply as an intern in his company. Try as he might he can’t hide his excitement. He immediately asked his secretary to call Universities to check on requirement for acceptance.

Despite her tiredness, Samantha couldn’t sleep. The thought of him leaving so soon upsets her. Slowly she made here way upstairs. The house would feel so empty without him. Mentally she calculated the cost of getting an apartment in the city. The mother in her admonished her for even thinking as if her son is not coming home anymore. She told herself that this is just a passing thing. He grew up here, all his friends are here. Once he realized how different the culture is he’ll come back home. This little spark of hope is enough reason to hold on to this house she knows that. But the realist in her knows that little spark of hope cannot win against the wind of reality. Her Sungie has always longed for his father. He doesn’t say much but she knows how much he wanted to experience being close to his Dad. She can see it in the way he would look away when he sees his friends with both parents in attendance during school activities. He would always run to the phone when he knows it’s his Dad on the other line and the way he would try to hide his disappointed look when his father couldn’t stay on the phone long enough for him to say everything he wants to say. She sometimes feels guilty for letting him grow up without a father. Sure there are many other willing men who wouldn’t mind having him for a step son but somehow Samantha has always felt satisfied with her life. She’s always been an independent career woman, she never planned for a family and Sungie was not part of her plans. But the moment she learned she was pregnant with him her motherly instincts kicked in. She never regretted having him and can’t imagine life without him.

“Better start looking for a nice small apartment Sam, and better yet start learning to cook. Kwan Dae will not let him go so easily now that he has his chance at having Sungie close to him” she told herself silently.

CHAPTER 2

Hyesung scanned the crowd looking for a familiar face but did not find any. He is beginning to regret coming here now. Sure it sounded exciting and easy at first but the more he thinks about it during the flight the more he realized how absurd it is to move away so far. His mother offered to accompany him but he refused. He knows how busy she is, especially since she has to move house and put the extra furniture’s in storage and all the other nitty gritty detail that needs to be taken care of. He was hurt a little when she said that she’ll be moving to a small apartment near her office once he goes to Korea, he felt that she does not want him to come back. But he knows his mother does not mean it that way and besides the house will be too big for her, it was even too big for both of them. Thinking of her now, coming home to an empty apartment made him feel guiltier than he already is for moving so far away.

He saw a big man holding a small banner with his name on it. Slowly he made his way towards the burly man. He can feel his knees slightly shaking. “Calm down” he admonished himself. He knew the possibility of his father taking time out to pick him up from the airport is really small, he knows how busy he is. But somehow he hoped for it. Seeing that his father is nowhere in sight, Sungie tried his best to hide his disappointment.

He recognized the man as Mr. Ho Dong. He has met him before when his father came to the United States for some international convention. He and his mom met him for dinner; it was the first time he ever laid eyes on his father. He remembered it as if it was just yesterday. His father looked so dapper to him then. He was wearing a nice coat and tie, just like what the friends of his mom wear during formal occasions except that he wears them better. He was just 6 and somehow thought his father was like the father of his friends who lets them sit on their lap. He did that and he did let him sit on him briefly before he told him to sit down on his chair properly because dinner will be served soon. He was so disappointed then. He never saw his father again after that except for the occasional photos he would send and the sporadic phone calls he makes monthly. Sure he never forgot his birthday, and he always sends him a gift for Christmas and whenever he wins something in school.

“Mr. Hyesung?’ Mr. Ho Dong approached him with so much formality that Hyesung wanted to laugh at him but stopped himself. He knew how formal Koreans can be and he has to remind himself that he is still half Korean despite the fact that he was born and raised in New York City.

Hyesung saw that Mr. Ho Dong was not alone. A young man only a few younger than him was with his father’s Head of Security. Hyesung did not have to search in his memory for long who this young man is because he was introduced by Mr. Ho Dong immediately after he said his greetings.

“Mr. Hyesung this is Mr. Jinnie, he is your youngest brother”

“Nice to meet you” Junjin said to him shyly.

“Yeah…I know you, Dad sent me pictures of you, hey…Mom sent you a gift by the way. It’s in one of my bags, I‘ll give it to you later.”

“Thank you, Hyesung Hyung”

“Naahhh….it’s nothing and call me Sungie, everybody does”

“If that’s what you want you can call me Jin”

Very soon Hyesung was thanking himself for at least trying to learn Korean before coming here. Because it turns out that Junjins knowledge of the language is pretty limited. He do understand English but speaking the language is a totally different story. Anybody listening in on their conversation would find it really amusing because they are conversing in two totally different languages with Hyesung speaking in English and Junjin speaking in Korean. Once in a while Hyesung would get lost on the words used by Junjin but still it made him feel better to know that at least somebody likes him to be here.

The travel from the airport to his father’s house was pretty long. Both Junjin and Hyesung spent most of the time talking, with Junjin doing most of the talking. He talked mostly about soccer and how his team in school is doing and how they might have a chance to get into the national finals. Hyesung who is too weary now was thankful for the idle talk; he was in fact very nervous about meeting his father and other half brothers.

**********

Eric silently watched from his bedroom window as the two identical cars were parked in their driveway. He knew one of those cars is his and he has a faint idea for whom the other car is for. His mom has already talked to him about the arrival of another brother. Eric knew that he has no reason to hate him and it’s not his fault that they share the same father. He should be used to it by now but still he sometimes still resent his father for siring so many other sons from so many different women.

Another car drove into the driveway. Upon seeing who the arrivals where, Eric stood away from the window and took a deep breath, he knows what’s going to come next, he will yet again be introduced to another brother. Silently he got out of his room, passing by Minwoo’s room he knocked to warn him that Hyesung has arrived.

Eric saw the lanky boy carry some of his own luggage into the house. He is just a few months younger than him, he has to remind himself. Hoping that he wouldn’t be noticed he took that few moments to look at his foreign brother. That’s what his mother addresses him. He was tall, almost as tall as him, but his features are delicate almost like a girl.

His revelry was cut short when Minwoo intentionally bumped into him. Minwoo did not apologize but instead just grinned at him. Eric sometimes wonders what it is in Minwoo that made him welcome any additional brother so openly. He is almost like Junjin in a sense that he doesn’t seem to mind having to share their father with yet another son.

‘President Lee!” Both he and Minwoo stood in attendance when they heard Jung Hwan the butler addressed their father.

Eric was silently glad that their father was present for the introduction. He knows how awkward it can get.

Lee Kwan Dae silently patted Hyesung in the back. Hyesung acknowledged him by awkwardly bowing his head. Kwan Dae has to try really hard not to show how happy he is that Hyesung is finally going to live with him.

“How was your flight, you must be tired”

“It was ok, I got to sleep because Mom booked me in first class”

“That’s good to hear. You’ve met your brothers already?”

“We just arrived a few minutes ahead of you” Hyesung answered hoping he wouldn’t be offended by such informality.

Looking at his four sons, Lee Kwan Dae has to think for a while how to introduce them but was distracted by a running figure that bumped into Hyesung.

‘I’m sorry, I know I’m late!!!” Dongwan was still trying to catch his breath while apologetically patting the lanky boy whom he guesses must be his half brother Hyesung.

“”Sorry for bumping into you, I’m the…..”

“Fourth…..” Minwoo finished his sentence.

“No…his not the fourth his third, his older than you by a few months.” Eric corrected him.

“Ok his third and I’m fourth, I’m Minwoo by the way and this is Eric…his OLDEST”

“I know that, I’m Hyesung by the way but I won’t mind if you call me Sungie, my mom always does. And I think I’m second.”

“Naahh, I’m second” Dongwan told him.

“Actually his right, his second and your third, Minwoo is fourth and Jinnie is the youngest and hopefully the last” Lee Kwan Dae decided to correct them himself.

“Really? Are you sure” Minwoo knew he can be too cheeky at times but he just couldn’t resist not saying that.

“Well do you want another one?” Lee Kwan ask them all.

“NO!!!” they said in unison.

LONG ROAD HOME: ERIC’S ROAD HOME

2007-08-15T07:38:00.000-07:00

Just as I promised here is the second installment. Based on Dongwan’s fic this just might turn out into a short fic instead of a One Shot which is actually my original intention. I’m already on my second chapter and I have yet to decide whether I should add another. Please help me decide by giving feedbacks so I will know if I should another chapter or two for the reader to understand Eric’s character more. I will be posting them in installments too.

LONG ROAD HOME: ERIC’S ROAD HOME

Chapter I

She walked the length of the corridor towards her husband’s office, unmindful of the eyes that were following her every move. Her husband’s employees rarely see her in his office that her mere presence here today is a reason enough for curiosity. She knew they would be more curious now if they ever find out the reason for her visit. For this is not a social visit, she came to the General Headquarters of the LKD Group to ask her husband for divorce.

She knew they should have done it a long time ago. Then things would have been easier and not as complicated. She knew they would eventually end up divorcing each other the moment they said their “I do’s”. It was an arranged marriage, arranged by parents who thought that their union would strengthen the influence of each family. It served its purpose yes, but it also led to her and Kwan Dae’s estrangement from their respective parents. He rebelled, had an affair left and right and siring illegitimate sons in the process, how many she no longer care to count. She on the other hand stopped sleeping with him the moment she found out she was pregnant; it was a deal she made with him the day before they got married. She will give him an heir, and then they are free to live life the way they saw fit. Sure she had her affairs, but unlike Kwan Dae who flaunts them, she at least was very discreet, careful to protect her reputation.

To many people she was the long suffering wife of Lee Kwan Dae, a martyr who tolerated her husband’s infidelity and welcomed his bastard sons by other women into their house. Little did they know that she only tolerated them because Kwan Dae would not have it any other way. He may not win husband of the year award, but he at least tries to be a good father to his sons. Secretly she pitied them. At least Eric has her, and despite her lack of feeling for his father, she loves her son very much. Too much actually that she allowed this farce they called a marriage to go on because she did not want him to suffer the stigma of coming from a broken family.

Then Walter happened. He was a diplomat she met in the many social functions she attends. Handsome, witty and intelligent, he did not only catch her eyes but also her heart. He was very different from all the other lovers she ever had, for one is that he is not married. He offered her his heart and friendship, said he wanted to marry her, something her other lovers could never give her. He was willing to give her everything he could offer; his only condition is that he does not want Eric in the equation. He does not want any kids of his own either. This hurt her a lot and she was ready to give up on this chance of happiness if he didn’t offer her an alternative. So long as Eric will not live them on a permanent basis, she will be free to see him anytime and Eric is welcome to visit them anytime.

She did not wait for Lee Kwan Dae’s secretary to show her in his office. He was alone and seems to be caught up in his own world. She knocked loudly on his table.

“I thought the lawyers are already here?”

“I asked them to come a little later; I wanted to talk to you”

“I don’t think there is anything to talk about”

“Would you like some tea?”

“Water would be fine”

After calling his secretary to ask her to bring them some refreshments, Lee Kwan Dae ushered his soon to be estranged wife into his private conference room.

“Please make yourself comfortable. They will be here in a couple of minutes”

“I did not come here to exchange pleasantries Kwan Dae”

Kwan Dae did not say anything he seemed to be deep in his thoughts. Cho was left with no choice but to just wait till Kwan Dae decides to speak. Trying not to appear bored she pretended to look at a large painting that was dominating one of the walls in the room.

“I’m sorry”

She was surprised by his words; Kwan Dae never apologizes for anything and to anyone.

“Excuse me, did I hear that right?”

“I said I’m sorry….”

“Don’t you think it’s too late for that now!”

“I’m sorry if I cannot give you the happiness Walter could”

She did not know what to say to this.

“I guess I…..I should say the same”

“It was a stupid mistake…yes….just a stupid mistake”

“Yes just a stupid mistake”

Cho could not believe she was having this conversation with her husband. They never talk like this. In fact they don’t talk to each other unless it has anything to do with Eric.

‘Kwan Dae…”

“Yes….”

“Walter said he can visit anytime he wants…..and I hope you don’t mind if I….”

“You’re free to see him anytime….”

“Promise me you’ll take care of him……I don’t want to hear any of your mistress laying their finger on my son…”

“Cho….you don’t need to tell me that”

“Yes, I know that”

“Cho can I ask you a favor…”

“Yes…anything”

“Can you talk to Eric….tell him….tell him it’s not his fault we are divorcing… that Junjin and Minwoo has nothing to do with this…with us”

“I’ll do that, I know he will understand”

They shared a few minutes of uneasy silence before Cho spoke again.

“So Minwoo is yours too?”

“The DNA tests arrived this morning, all positive”

“He seemed to be a nice boy, do you think his mother wouldn’t…..”

“She better not…unless she want to end up in jail”

“She did all those to him?”

“Yes, I sent people to investigate and check out his story. They all said his telling the truth.”

“I’m glad he found you.”

“I’m not sure that is something to be glad about”

“Do not be too hard on yourself.”

“If I didn’t sired any of them they wouldn’t have to suffer all this pain”

At that instance, their respective lawyers arrive. It only took five minutes before the marriage which changed them forever was over. Their both free now to pursue the happiness that has eluded them as a couple. The only question left to answer is whether Eric, the fruit of their unhappy union would also find the happiness they both want to give but was unable to give him.

Chapter II

She found him in his room, playing games on his computer again. It took a while before he noticed that she was there. Without a word he stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

“Are you busy son?”

“Just playing. You did it did you?”

Before answering she took hold of his hand and looked into his eyes.

“It’s all for the best”

“If that’s what you say”

He was about to go back to his computer games but his mother stopped him.

“Sit with me for a while”

Eric did as he was told.

“I know this is confusing to you, that you probably hate me and your Dad right now. Someday you will understand why”

Still he did not say anything.

“Not because were divorcing it means your also going to lose us.”

“Walter don’t like me”

“Honey it’s not that he doesn’t like you, it’s just that the possibility and responsibility of being a father scares him”

“Then why are you marrying him?”

“I don’t know….maybe because he can make me laugh….make me happy”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes. But I love you more….but”

“You want to be happy too….”

“I’m sorry….but yes….”

“You were never happy with Dad?”

Cho couldn’t answer her son. She could only nod her head.

“Is Dad going to get married too?”

“I don’t know?” Cho cannot stop her tears from flowing now, seeing her son look so lost.

“Honey I want you to look at me….me and your father….we love…we love you…we love you very much…but we can never make each other happy”

“Is that boy coming to live here now?”

Cho was surprised with the change in subject.

“You mean… Minwoo…yes, they gave him a DNA test and it came back positive”

“So I have 3 brothers now”

“Four…you forgot Hyesung”

“Yeah…I forgot about him”

“You’re not mad at your father are you?”

“I don’t know….”

“Honey…. Look at me….your father made a lot of mistakes…..maybe he made a mistake by giving you so many brothers all having different mothers…..but your father love you….he loves all of you….that’s why his letting them live here…..their mother cannot take care of them “

“You can take care of me…you always took care of me….then why…”

“We had this conversation before…maybe someday you can come and live with me…….…when Walter changes his mind”

Eric did not answer, but instead went back to playing on his computer. Cho can’t think of anything to say anymore. She knew she has hurt Eric by leaving, but she also knew that she does not belong in this house. This house is home to her son but not to her.

She left the room without looking back at her son. If only she did she would have seen him silently crying.

THE END

DONGWAN'S ROAD HOME

2007-07-27T22:17:00.000-07:00

First of the 4 Backstories I wrote for Long Road Home

DONGWAN’S ROAD HOME

Dongwan tried to run as fast as his short legs would allow. He was supposed to be home two hours ago and he knows that if he is not home before the sun sets he would be in big trouble. His mother can be so unreasonable when it comes to curfews and this is not the first time Dongwan has broken his curfew. His mother knows how much he likes taking photographs and knows that once he finds something interesting to shoot, he lost all sense of time. “Run faster…you idiot….or I am in TROUBLE”.

He was running so fast he did not notice that a black Mercedes was park right in front of their gate and crashed right into it.

Dongwan’s books, his camera and extra batteries scattered all over the place. Under normal circumstances Dongwan would have been worried that he would be made to pay for the damages to the car, but he was more worried about his Mom getting mad at him that he just picked his stuff and made a dash for the door their house. The driver of the car got out of the car and run after him, but Dongwan proved to be a fast runner and he was inside the house even before the driver has time to get out of the car.

“Hey you!! Come back here!” the man shouted at him.

Dongwan slammed opened their door. The house was small with only one bedroom he shares with his Mom, a small kitchen and a small receiving area that also serves as their dining area. Despite being small it was spotlessly clean, something his mother is proud of. For her no matter how small a house is, it should be spotless because a clean house reflects on the character of the people living in it.

“Is the devil running after you?...coming in like that!” his mother scolded him. She was a small woman and Dongwan always wonders if he got his height from her. Standing at only five feet 2 inches, she holds herself in manner that is both proud and regal. Take away her simple and cheap clothes and you would think you are talking to a woman born from royalty. She always talks in a dignified manner and for as long as Dongwan could remember she has never seen her mother lowered herself to anybody. She treats everybody with respect but she never acts or felt shame in her being poor. This is something she has instilled in Dongwan since he was a small child. Be proud of who you are and what you are capable of doing, not because you do not have money doesn’t mean you are inferior to those who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, she always say this to him.

Secretly Dongwan is thankful for his Mom for teaching him this. He knew he would never achieve anything on his own if his mother did not teach him to be confident in himself.

Panting hard, Dongwan tried to catch his breath before answering his mother. That’s when he noticed that they have a visitor. A familiar face he has seen sporadically for the last 15 years. Dongwan silently wondered what brought his father to their house. He knew that his father was rich, how rich he doesn’t really know. He has never questioned his mother on why they had to live like this despite him having a very rich father. His father was a very sensitive issue with his Mom, so despite the fact that his mother allows his father to visit him every now and then and spend on his education, she refuses to discuss him with Dongwan. She would tell him that what happened between her and Lee Kwan Dae is their problem and Dongwan has nothing to do with it.

“Sir” he bowed to acknowledge his father. He seldom calls him Dad or Father. Lee Kwan Dae is not exactly the warmest man on earth. Although he takes time out to see Dongwan every now and then and make sure he gets the best education, most of their meeting seem more like a perfunctory interview devoid of the warmth and laughter shared between a parent and a child. He would ask him how he is doing in school. He in turn would tell him about his grades, the extra math and English lessons he is taking in preparation for university, the many prizes he won for being a member of the Taekwondo club. When his father found out that he likes taking photographs he bought him a very expensive camera which he almost didn’t get to use because his mother refused to let his Dad buy him any expensive gifts. He could still remember the phone conversation his mother has with his father. It was the first time he ever saw his mother get mad like that. Dongwan offered to return the camera but his father refused saying he has every right to give it to him because he is after all his son. His father stopped seeing him after that. He would call him, go to his school to see him or ask him to meet him for lunch but he never set foot in their house ever again after that incident. Not until now.

“Sit down” Lee Kwan Dae looked at his 3^rd son. He could barely see himself in him. He has his mother’s eyes, and contour of the face. Silently he wished that he wouldn’t have her height too, but Dongwan it seems would not grow any taller than 5’6 at the rate he is growing now. His other brothers got their height from him and hence are all tall, all except Minwoo who can stand shoulder to shoulder with Dongwan.

“How’s school?” He asked him

“I got into the Advance Math class, and my English teacher is asking me if I want to join the journalism club” Dongwan was still out of breath but his parents could hear traces of pride in his voice.

“You already have too many clubs already…adding another one might affect your grades.” His mother told him in a matter of fact manner. She knows how much of an achiever her son is and it sometimes worried her that he might be spreading himself too thin by getting involved in too many clubs in school.

“You mother is right , you already have taekwondo, photography, history club and there’s your Math and English academy too…doing everything all the same, some is bound to suffer. Hopefully it’s not your grades.”

Dongwan was silent; he knew that he can’t argue against his parents at the same time.

“If you really want to join this journalism club, you have to give up one” his father said.

Dongwan bowed his head as he silently contemplates which of the many clubs and organizations he was willing to give up. He knows that he has to make a wise decision.

“I’m already in the Advance Math Class, I don’t need to go to the Math Academy because the lessons are the same anyways” Dongwan silently hoped both parents would agree. It’s not that he hates Math, in fact he is good at it but doing it all the time sometimes bores him.

“No!...It’s important, you need those lessons to get into a good University” his mother said.

Dongwan is panicking now, he couldn’t think of which one to give up because he wants to be in all those clubs, and besides all his friends are in there too.

“Don’t be too hard on the boy”

Lee Kwan Dae’s words surprised Dongwan, because when it comes to his education his father is as demanding as his mother. He seldom says a word but Dongwan sometime has this feeling that his father would only acknowledge him for as long as he does well in everything he does.

“He can’t give that up, he needs to do well in that subject to get into a good University” his mother insisted.

“Well that depends on what he wants to take up in University.” His father said.

Dongwan could sense animosity building up. He knew he has to say something that is acceptable to both parents.

“I think I’ll just give up the History Club”

“Are you sure about that?” his mother asked him.

“Yes”

“That’s settled then, you resign from that club so that you can join this new one. We don’t want to see your grades going down either. Is that understood?” his father said to him.

“Yes sir” Dongwan said. He would miss the fun they have during meetings and visits to museums but other than that he wouldn’t miss anything else.

Dongwan looked at both parents. He wanted to ask what brought his father here but he can’t think of a way to broach the subject. He looked at his mother but she did not looked at him instead she stood up and went into the kitchen.

“Why don’t you go and take him out for dinner, I’m too tired to cook right now.”

“How about you, what are …” Lee Kwan Dae asked her

“I’m not hungry…” she cut him off.

Lee Kwan Dae and Dongwan stood up to go. But before they could step out of the house she reminded Lee Kwan Dae to bring Dongwan home before 8 because he still has to finish his homework.

“Get him home before 8 he still has to finish his homework.”

“Sure, no problem with that” with that Lee Kwan Dae stood up and left the tiny house his sons has called home all his life.

Dongwan silently followed his father towards the car. It was the same car he crashed into earlier. The driver of the car got out and was about to reprimand him but stopped when Lee Kwan Dae spoke to him directly.

“Mr. Kang, this is my son Dongwan, son this is Mr. Kang Ho Dong. He is head of my security and also drives me around occasionally”

Mr. Kang bowed down to him and Dongwan did the same.

Father and son got into the car silently. Dongwan has no idea where they are going and he doesn’t really know how to ask. After a couple of minutes their car stopped in front of a Japanese Restaurant. Dongwan is not really picky with food and his father always takes him to fancy restaurants, regardless of what Dongwan is wearing whenever the two of them meet.

The head waiter greeted them and led them to a private room.

His father did not ask him what he wants but ordered for the two of them. It did not take long for their order to arrive. Father and son ate in silence.

“How’s school?”

Dongwan was perplexed because his father already asked him about that earlier.

“I’m doing okay, I guess”

“I know, your mother showed me your grades. I think they are good enough to get you in a good private school.”

“Why do I need to transfer school?” Dongwan is getting curious now. His mother never told him anything about moving to another place.

“Son, let me be honest you. I know you are mature for your age and will understand”

“What will I understand?”

“Your mother is sick”

“Mom can’t be sick, she has never been sick”

“Well she is, I have known for a while but she refuses to let me help her.”

“What does it have with me changing schools anyway?” Dongwan has never talked like this to his father. This is all confusing to him.

“You know I could have done more for you and your mom, but your mother is one stubborn woman. She refuses any of my help and only agreed to let me spend for your education because she wants you to get into a good university and have a better chance in life.”

Dongwan did not say anything because he knows what he is saying is the truth.

“I wouldn’t have known she was sick if she didn’t tell me herself.. “

“How sick is she?”

“She has ovarian cancer; apparently it runs in the family.”

“But that can be cured right. My classmate’s mother has cancer too but she got well after they operated on her.”

“Your mother was diagnosed too late, only a miracle can cure her now”

“But…”

“I got both of you an apartment near the school we have chosen for you. It’s also near the hospital where she will be getting her treatments. It’s also close to my house and I could ask her to let you live with me now but I do not want to do that to your mother. She may have been stubborn and gave me a difficult time when it come’s to you, but your mother is a good woman and I can never and will never question her being a good mother to you. She needs you now.”

Dongwan did not know what to say. He does not even know what to think. His mother is sick and may even die. It all seems like a bad dream to him.

“I will send somebody to your schools to talk with your teachers, I’m sure you’ll have no problem meeting new friends. The apartment is fully furnished so you only need to bring your personal belongings. Your mother has agreed to let me buy you new clothes and things for your new school. It’s a private school. I don’t want other kids looking down at you because of your appearance.”

“There is nothing wrong with my clothes. Mom always says…”

“I know what your Mother would say….son this is not about what you think…this is about what others think about you now. I don’t want you to ever second guess yourself because others looks down on you and think you are inferior to them. Being in a private school also means that you will be surrounded by kids whose parents pampers them to a point that they do not care about others anymore but themselves. I do not want you to be like them. You are your mother’s son and I know that you will never be like them. But it’s also important to fit in, to not stand out like a sore thumb. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir” was all Dongwan could say. He has so many questions forming in his head but he couldn’t bring himself to ask them.

“Now that’s settled, I would like to ask you to come to the office tomorrow with your mother. Ms. Alice my secretary would take you to shop and your mother and I would go to your new house. I ask Ms. Alice to buy your mother some new clothes and shoes, so make sure that when you get home tonight you take a good look at what’s her size is including the size of her shoes so that you could get the right one for her. Lastly don’t tell your mother those are from me, just tell her that you thought she should have some new things too. That I gave you some money to spend for yourself and you just used some of those to buy things for her. Do not buy anything too expensive or she might suspect okay.”

“Yes sir”

“What else, yes I already told your brothers that you and your mother will moving somewhere near and that you might occasionally join us for dinner or come to the house more often. I would like you to spend the night at the house whenever you mother has to stay the night at the hospital. Security in the building where your new home will be is very good, but I still do not want to think of you spending the night alone. A room has been prepared for you and I will ask Ms. Alice to buy you extra clothes to keep at home so you that you do not need to pack a bag every time you need to stay the night. Any question?”

“Is Mom going to be alright?”

For the first time Kwan Dae has a strong urge to hug his son. He can see how scared he is by the thought of losing his Mom, and all the changes that he is going through right now. But instead of hugging him he gave the boy a tap on the shoulder.

“Your mother is a strong woman, but sometimes will and strength is not enough. If she has come to me earlier I could have sent her abroad for treatment. The only thing to do now is to hope she would be able to hold on long enough to see you graduate from school. That would make her very happy. So try to be good in your studies, okay!”

Dongwan just nod his head. He can feel tears starting to build up in his eyes and he has to blink a couple times to stop himself from crying. He has to say something he knows that but he doesn’t know what to say.

“Dad”

“Yes?”

“I think I scratched your car. I was running home because Mom might get mad at me for not coming home in time and I did not see it was parked in front of the house and smashed my camera into it”

“Did you hurt yourself?”

“No, but I think my camera is useless now, and I think Mr. Hodong will be mad once he sees the damage I done in daylight”

“Don’t think about it anymore, that car is old anyway and I have been thinking of replacing it already. Your birthday is coming soon am I right”

“Yes the week after next”

“How you would like a new camera for your next birthday, one of my staff showed me the new camera they bought for use by the Public Relations department. It’s digital and has expandable memory and you do not need to use films. But you need a printer to print the pictures and a computer too….hmm…I’ll ask one of the people in the office to have a pc set up in your new room. Consider that as your price for getting into the Advance Math Program and the printer for winning….what’s that again…the last medal you won”

“I did not win any medal, but one of the pictures I took got accepted and was published by a local news paper.”

“Yeah that one, your mother called me up to tell me to buy a copy of that paper so I will see your work. It was good”

“Thanks”

“I think we better get going now. Your mother is waiting for you”

Chapter II

He used to dream of living in a big house, of having his own room, of having a big closet where he could store his cameras and equipments, but now that he has all of those and more Dongwan found himself unable to sleep. No matter how much he tossed or turn he couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in. He gave up on sleep after tossing and turning for the umpteenth time. It’s not that his bed is not comfortable, far from it, it was the softest bed he ever slept on, and the sheets are delicate to the touch. The apartment has four bedrooms, one for him and another for his mom, another room were turned into a study for him and the other one as his father has suggested was to be used as a guest room. Dongwan can’t think of a reason why they would need a guestroom when his mother’s relatives have never once sought to visit them. They did not approve of his mother getting pregnant out of wedlock, and they certainly made sure that she and her bastard of a son know that they are no longer considered as family.

Dongwan tiptoed into the spacious kitchen. The kitchen by his estimate is bigger than their former house. A large fridge, the size he only sees on TV and magazines dominates the whole kitchen. His mother protested on why they would need such a big apartment, but his father said it was the only one available in the area. Upon opening the fridge, he was greeted by large assortments of food. Her mother did not complain on this, she knows Dongwan’s father has always been generous to his sons, and she knows that she could no longer deny Dongwan creature comforts that his father is willingly giving to all of his children.

He helped himself to some juice and snatched an apple off the kitchen counter. He was settling himself in front of his new computer when he heard a noise coming from his mother’s bedroom. Coming nearer he heard his mother moaning in pain. Dongwan knew the reason why, his father did not spare him from the sordid detail of his mother’s illness, that and coupled with the research on the internet made him understand what his mother is going through. But it did not prepare him for the sound of pain he has been hearing from his mother lately. In front of him she is still the proud and feisty woman he has known all his life, but lately he has been noticing that she has been losing a lot of weight and at night he would usually hear those stifled cry. How she managed to hide that from him when they were still living in their old home is beyond him. When he told his Dad about this he told him that it would get worst as the diseases progresses. She is taking medication but sooner or later those medications would stop working and the pain would be uncontrollable.

Silently he opened the door and saw his mother curled up like a fetus moaning in pain.

“Mom, are you ok?”

“I’m ok go back to bed”

“Would you like me to get you anything? Shall I call the doctor?”

“No, this will go away soon. Go back to your room you still have classes tomorrow.”

But Dongwan did not go; instead he crawled into bed with his mom and hugged her gently. His mother did not protest.

“Your father may be a cold man, but he looked after all of his sons well.”

Dongwan was surprised with his mother. He can’t remember anytime that his mother talked openly about his father like this.

“He was good looking, and charming when he wants too. …yes…the most charming man when he wants too”

“Mom, there’s no need to say anything”

“I want to tell you myself, I don’t want you to hear it from others”

“Mom”

“He was already President of LKD Group when I met him, ………..I knew he has a wife, ………….I also know he has a son with her, ……….and another with a foreign born lawyer”

“Mom really you should rest now”

“He was a charming man; …….treated me like a Queen, .told me he would take of me”

“I was so naïve……thinking he would leave his wife and son for me…..thinking that if he did I would be happy……. And then you happened…”

“Mother…”

“He promised to take care of us and he did…..Lee Kwan Dae is a man of his words…. But I want more than that….I was young and ….and too selfish for my own good….he did not leave her…he won’t leave her…..he said he do not want to lose Eric….I took you away…..but my family would have nothing to do with me…..I thought I could raise you up on my own….”

“But mother you did….”

“No……when you were 2 years old you become very sick…I thought I was going to lose you….by that time my pride was the only thing that was left of me…… I came knocking in your father’s door…told him you were sick….he agreed to help me in the condition that I let him see you….to let you know he was your father….to accept his help….I refused….in the end he won….because I was afraid to lose you…..so I let him spend money on you….send you to the best Tutoring Academy…pay for all the extra lessons you want to take….all those taekwondo classes you want to join….. He wanted to do more for you……give you a bigger house to leave in….expensive toys to play with…. He wanted to send you to a private school…….but I was afraid that if I give in to him he would start to demand more….I was afraid in exchange for this creature comforts he was willing to give me he would take you away from me…..”

Another wave of painful spasm cut short their conversation. Dongwan hugged his mother tighter. She let him hold her until the pain subsided. It was a while before Dongwan heard his mother’s steady breathing. After checking on her one last time, he silently tiptoed out of the room. He went back to his computer and the now stale glass of juice and uneaten apple. He knows sleep will not come for him tonight.

*****

He knows all of his brother’s by sight. Their father made sure of that. Eric the legitimate one and the oldest is always the silent one and wouldn’t talk unless spoken to. Hyesung the one from America barely speaks too but that’s because he is just learning how to speak Korean. He talks to everyone in English and only speaks Korean when talking to Junjin the youngest one. That one is the most playful of the lot. He seems to be always moving about and can’t seem to sit still for even a short period of time. The two seems to get along very well. Hyesung would drive Junjin to school and in more than one occasion accompanied him during soccer practice. When their father is not at home the two would talk nonstop about the game, one talking in English and the other in Korean... Minwoo on the other hand is the only one who would openly talk to Dongwan. He and Eric seem to get along very well, but then he seems to get along well with everybody.

Dongwan is spending the night there as his father instructed him to do when his mother has to stay the night in the hospital. Lately these sleepovers have become more frequent. The others knew the reason why but they seem to know that he did not want to talk about this with them. Their father told them to eat dinner without him as he will be late in coming home.

Dinner which is usually a silent affair is a bit animated that night. Junjin’s team won a very important match which would enable them to get into the regional finals, he, Hyesung and Minwoo is having one of their weird bi-language discussions about the game. Eric was silently listening to them, while Dongwan on the other kept to himself. He knew he should eat, but food is the farthest things on his mind right now. This is the 5^th time in 5 weeks that his mother has to stay the night in the hospital. His father has told him to get all of his things in their apartment and take it to his house because his mother might stay in the hospital a while. He wanted to go there but he has forbidden him and said that he wouldn’t be able to see his mother anyway because she was in isolation.

He jumped out of his seat the moment he hears the phone rang; he beat Eric by few steps in answering it. The other three did not bother from getting up from their seat.

“Hello, Lee Residence”

“Wannie, is that you?” it was their father’s voice

“Yes sir it’s me”

The others stopped whatever they are talking about when they heard it was their father on the phone.

“Listen to me carefully, the hospital called me and told me to go to the hospital, I want you to meet me there. Ask Eric or Sungie to drive you there okay, give the phone to Eric.”

Dongwan without a word gave the phone to Eric. He could feel his world turning upside down. Eric has to give him a strong tug to get him to listen to what he has to say.

“Dad told me to drive you to the hospital.”

“Ok”

Dongwan was in a state of shock, it barely registered on him that the others also got into the car and came with him to the hospital. Eric drove, while Hyesung who has driven him to the hospital a few times already gave instructions on how to get there.

Their father did not say anything when all five of them arrived in the hospital together. Dongwan was immediately ushered into his mother’s room to pay his last respect. His father stayed with him through it all.

****

None of his mother’s relatives came to the funeral. He did not expect them to come anyway. His father took care of everything, and his brothers all came. None of them said a word to him but they were there. Dongwan felt numb, no tears would come, Mr. Shin the butler has to force him to eat and in more than one occasion his father has to order him to go home to get some rest.

****

It was the same room he used whenever he comes to sleep over. It was more spacious than the room he occupies in the apartment. He does not have his own study room here but the room is big enough for all his stuff. His father sent someone from the office set up his computer in his new room. Somebody else took care of packing his mothers belongings. His father said his sending it somewhere for storage but let Dongwan keep anything he wants to keep. In the end he settled for the few photographs of the two them together and all the photo albums of pictures he took went into storage too.

His father never came to talk to him again about his mother. He did not offer any explanations or offered him a comforting hug. He just let him be. Before long they developed a routine around the house that they would be keeping at least until all of them are old enough to drive their own car. Eric and Hyesung who are already old enough to have a driver’s license drive their own car. He, Minwoo and Junjin are either dropped off to school by Driver Jongmin or catch a ride with either one of them. Eric never complained on being their chauffeur but he remained distant. Hyesung is more tolerant and made an effort to converse with him once in a while.

Their father remained just like, an authority they respect and secretly worship. A man who is so involved with all their lives but managed to remain so distant. The father who unknowingly sowed fear in their hearts and who could send them scampering to their feet with a just s tern look. Somehow Dongwan got used to the dreary atmosphere around the house, the silence that permeates the place whenever all of them sat down together for dinner. This is home now he knows that and he belongs here whether he likes it or not.

Dongwan turned off his nightlight and waited for sleep to come to him.

THE END

Lost!!!

2007-07-20T06:49:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I posted, but I just want to say I am alive and still kicking. Will come back tomorrow and post some.

Spelling and Grammar Checker

2007-06-18T06:04:00.000-07:00

I feel so frustrated today. I was using an online spelling and grammar checker and just when I was about to finish my net connection got cut off.....waaahhhhhhh.....

The Lemon Fic

2007-06-13T04:45:00.000-07:00

For Rho!!!! Girl did I ever tell you how much you rock!!! ENJOY!!!!

ps. do tell me if I got the partnering part right!!

THE LEMON FIC

Andy can’t wait to get out of the car. He’s been waiting for this moment the whole day. Missy has called him and told him everything is ready. They’ve been planning for this for days now. When in the middle of album promotion finding one free day is a rarity. It’s a good thing the other guys agreed when he suggested that they take a day off instead of scheduling something else when their guest appearance on Ho Dong hyung’s show was cancelled. He enjoys going on variety shows, but he wants to do something else tonight. “Give me a break!!!” He said to no one in particular. His driving alone because he told his manager to go home early. Besides that he don’t Missy will actually appreciate him inviting his manager to come and join them for their “we” time. He saw a car that he thought looked familiar overtake him but did not bother reacting. Before he would have given chase and overtake whoever is the jerk who attempts to cut him off, but he stopped doing that lately. Partly because he has been doing very little driving on his own because his manager usually do that for him since they are on a tight schedule and because Missy has once called him on it. She told him that giving chase might just land him in an accident and she wants him to be more careful especially since drivers these days are less careful and doesn’t really pay attention to traffic rules. He himself can’t think of a reason why she has so much influence in him something that he would never admit to her.

Finally he saw the private road that leads to his villa. It’s actually a dirt road with a warning sign saying dead end. It was already like that when he bought the property. He did not bother doing any improvements because he found out that it actually afforded him lots of privacy because drivers are not tempted to use this dirt road as a short cut. Fans has so far not found out about this new address yet which is a good thing. He was practically forced to leave his former apartment by the other tenants because some of their fans would come and linger in front and around the building. This bothered the other tenants so much that Andy decided to pack up and leave before they filed a complaint against him. Hyesung advised him on buying an off the track place, saying that not many fans would actually go out of their way to tract him down if he leaves far from the city. At first his main concern was the travel involved and his manager did voice out his complaints because he is the one who would be driving Andy around most of the time. Andy compromised by building a small bedroom with a private bath in his Entertainment Company’s office where he could spend the night when his schedule gets really tight.

But he seldom uses that, in fact he only used that once and almost did not last the night. He couldn’t sleep despite the tiredness; he misses Missy and has to call her in the middle of the night just to hear her voice. Now whenever he has to stay the night there she would come over and join him. He knows it’s pretty difficult for her but one of them has to give right and it’s a good thing she is a very giving person.

The driveway wasn’t empty as he expected, the familiar car that cut him off earlier was in the driveway.

“Honey, Eric is here!” Missy told him as soon as he opened the door.

Despite being friends for more than 10 years now, Andy was not very happy to see Eric. His been looking to have this private moments with Missy and the last thing he wanted is to have any of his hyungs disturbing them. But Eric is not alone, his with June and Rho. Honestly he can’t figure out how they manage to work it out, 2 women 1 man, he knows there are others the two of them probably doesn’t even know about but his too loyal to Eric to blurt that out loud. He can’t think of doing the same to Missy, not because there aren’t enough willing females out there, but Missy can be too much to handle already.

Eric did not say a thing but just raised an eyebrow and gave him that knowing look. Their both guys, and they both know what goes on behind closed doors, and this is not the first time that Eric used his place as a getaway before with his women in tow but tonight is just not a good time.

Missy came out of the dining room to tell them that dinner is ready. Andy cannot read her face. That woman is so good at masking her emotions.

Dinner was a noisy affair with the women dominating the conversation. Its fine with Andy, he knows how exuberant and opinionated Missy is and it doesn’t help that both June and Rho are the same. He can see that they have become such closed friends now with the way they exchanged banters.

They were in the middle of dinner when they heard a car arriving.

“Are you expecting a visitor?” Andy asked Missy nonchalantly.

Whoever it is needs to go home fast enough , Andy thought because he is beginning to lose his patience.

But Andy it seems need to hold on to his temper a little while longer because on the door is Hyesung, with Eliza, Thet and Coco. Andy is becoming frustrated by the minute. It seems the one night he has been looking forward to for days now will be spent in the company of other people. Under normal circumstances he would have welcomed the presence of his friends in his home but not tonight.

Hyesung just like Eric did not say a thing. There’s no need for words really.

After exchanging a few drink Missy feigned a headache. Andy knew she’s faking it. Missy is not one to let a headache ruin a fun night with friends. She’s probably as excited as I am, Andy thought.

He was proven right because as soon as he closed the door to their bedroom, the pained look in her eyes was replaced by that naughty smile. Sometimes it scares him how good an actress she could be when she wants to. He sometimes felt helpless whenever she give him that smile and he knows that she knows how much power she has over him.

Andy was rewarded for all his frustrations when she let him lead her to the shower. She has always been averse to bathing with him. In fact she wouldn’t even allow him to undress her with the lights on but tonight he felt like his going to get lucky.

She was gingerly unbuttoning his shirt when they heard a loud crash. Andy immediately ran towards the window to see who it is.

It was Minwoo and he looked like he almost crashed into one of the many trees that lined the road facing their house. Andy was not really surprised seeing that he is not exactly alone. He was in the company of girls too many to mention. Andy did not bother checking up on him. He can see his in good hands. Andy saw Minwoo enter their front gate and went directly to the back garden where the Jacuzzi is. All of the members know their way around his house and all of them can come anytime they want and use the swimming pool and Jacuzzi at the back. That was before Missy arrived in his life. So for her privacy he decided to build a guest house at the back where the other members can hang out when they need to. It has a small kitchen, and separate bath and toilet. Everything they need to be comfortable when they come here without inconveniencing her.

He was distracted from his revelry when he heard the shower running in the bathroom. Missy must have gone ahead and showered without him. Andy felt his heart skip a little when he attempted to open the door to the bathroom and found it unlocked. She never does that ……unless….Andy did not bother finishing his thoughts. He does what every normal healthy male will do when confronted with the same situation. He stepped into the bathroom unannounced.

Andy was stumped to see a fully clothed Missy sitting at the edge of the bathtub laughing as silently as she could. Andy proceeded to turn off the shower and joined her. Without the noise of the shower running he now could hear more clearly the reason for her giggling.

It looks like their next room neighbor is having a circus. Andy need not strain his ears because he can recognize that laughter anywhere.

“What are they doing to him?” he asker her.

“Nothing he couldn’t handle” she purred into his ears.

Andy smiled and took hold of her hand; gently he placed them on his chest to remind her of what she was supposed to do earlier. She obliged him by slowly unbuttoning his shirt while he gently nibbles her earlobes. He was trying to catch her lips but Missy is good at playing this games. Andy could hear the three girls laughing loudly and heard Hyesung hyung singing at the top of his voice. He silently thanked the heavens that his nearest neighbor lives a good few hundred meters away.

Missy is still playing with his buttons; she is yet to undo one. Andy reminded himself how much of a tease she could be when she is in the mood. Slowly he untangled himself from her and decided right there and there to give her a Shinhwa special show, because he Andy Lee can play this game too.

It seems like she can read his mind because instead of leaving or covering her eyes like she always does, whenever he attempts to do a striptease she instead shifted her position to make herself more comfortable. Andy smirked…. he is going to get lucky tonight.

He started by slowly swaying his butt left and right, he then as slowly traced the buttons on his shirt with both hands. Missy is giggling uncontrollably now. This was not the reaction Andy was aiming for and he was a little put off. But Missy knew the exact buttons to push. She stood up, and turned the shower on. This was enough for Andy to forget whatever irritation he felt for her earlier.

Without wasting a second he proceeded to gently pushed her under the shower. She did not even show any resistance at all. The water was a little too cold for comfort but he does not care anymore. He was trying to kiss her lips and undress her at the same time.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

It was coming from outside their bedroom.

Andy immediately jumped out of the shower. Wet and dripping he proceeded to check what that entire racket is all about. He can sense Missy following him.

It looked like Eric thought it would be fun to play cowboys and Indians with Eliza and Rho. Andy and Missy saw them ran off to the other side of the corridor towards the guestroom they are using. The two of them looked at each other and smiled, maybe now finally they could have some peace and proceed with their business.

Before closing the doors Andy listened for any other unusual noises but heard only some moaning and giggling in the other bedroom. Even Eric and his girls seemed to have quieted down now.

“Where were we now?” He asked her coyly.

“I don’t know about you Mr. Lee but I’m going to shower” she then slowly walked her way towards Andy and kiss him on the lips before turning around to go back to the bathroom.

Andy did not waste anytime and almost slipped while trying to run after her. He managed just in time before she stepped into the shower.

“Aren’t you going to invite poor me?”

“Let me see, Minwoo is having a small party at the back don’t you want to join him?”

“ I don’t like big parties….I like ……” but Andy was unable to finish whatever he has to say because Missy got busy unbuttoning his shirt. Andy could hardly contain himself because finally their going to get something started soon.

“Andy!!!!”

Andy knows that voice, and he is now seriously considering packing his bag and moving to a deserted island with Missy. Silently cursing under his breath Andy stepped outside the bathroom again.

He saw Dongwan and Junjin standing at the top of the stair.

“Andy!!! Did we bother you?”

“Uhuh” Andy hoped they will take the hint and go immediately.

“I forgot my bag in here when we slept over the other night, have you seen it” Dongwan told him.

“And have you seen my orange jacket? The one Minwoo hyung gave me the other week” Junjin piped in.

Missies who somehow manage to get into some dry clothes peered from behind him.

“Oh I think I saw your bag in one of the guestroom, the one you used the last time you’re here” she told Dongwan .

“And Jinnie I think your jacket is in the other room, just looked for it in the closets I think that’s where I saw it”

Both thanked her and proceeded to the rooms she pointed to them immediately.

Quickly Missy closed the door to their room. She was smiling naughtily at him.

Looking into that smiling face Andy immediately forgot how irritated he was at the other members. Her inviting lips were too much to resist.

They were so caught up in their own world that they did not notice the 8 sets of voices that simultaneously shouted in surprised.

Andy made sure their door is locked securely before following her to the bathroom.

THE END

Addicted to Hyesung's SInging

2007-06-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

An old video but still ....love the voice....

Something I found in another blog

2007-06-10T23:14:00.000-07:00

ONE FLAW IN WOMEN
*Author Unknown

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and she will do everything with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish." But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate." The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice.They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better
solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.They love unconditionally. They cry
when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no
strength left.They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love.They have compassion and ideals.They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Writing for Another Day

2007-06-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

I've been procastinating lately. The fanfic I was writing for Hyesung for the LRH backstory is still in draft and might remain there for a while. I know I need to sit down soon and write it before I forget what I am supposed to do with him.

This will be it for now.

My Blog at Mylot

2007-06-10T00:29:00.000-07:00

I hope I'm doing this right. I am currently attempting to link this blog to my mylot account. If you can read this then I probably did something right.

Happy reading and blogging to everyone.

myLot User Profile

edit: to say that I DID IT...I DID IT...I DID IT.....ok I'll stop gloating now!!!...

Shinhwa

2007-06-07T03:50:00.001-07:00

Another fan fic

2007-06-06T02:12:00.000-07:00

Characters:
Hyesung
Eric (Implied only)
PSY (Implied only)
Someone (I refused to name because she might :anyonehome: me. CLUE: she's from somewhere around here..:shifty: )

FADING LIGHT

I closed my eyes trying to sleep but sleep refused to come to me. In all honesty I know other peoples life are harder and more than half the population in the world have it worst. But still the heaviness of my heart wouldn't leave me. I changed position thinking it would help and all I got was a painful toe that I accidentally hit on the headboard.

Then I heard that familiar sound of his car. I went back to my usual position and pretend to sleep. I know that if I asked him the questions I wanted to ask we would just end up fighting. I closed my eyes tightly when I sense him enter the room. He smells of cigerette and alcohol. He was humming a tune that I'm beginning to hate now.

"Honey"...I can hear him call me. I did not answer, pretending to sleep instead. He did not even attempt to kiss me like he always does whenever he arrives home. He is now pacing the room, he is probably not as drunk as I thought he is because he still can pace the room without falling over. I heard his phone ring. I know by his ringtone alone who the caller is. He is a man of habit and it has always been his habit to assign a ringtone for certain persons in his phonebook. I know who his talking to right and it makes my blood boil even more. How dare he call him this late in the night when I know that they already spent the whole day together.

I felt a slight breeze touch my bare skin. Slowly I open my eyes to peer, he has opened the window and I can see why, because I saw him light a cigarette while he talks on the phone. This is going to a long conversation if he has the urge to light a cigarette.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I don't want to listen in on their conversation. Slowly he stood up from where he sitting and closed the window. I thought that finally he'll join me in bed now but I was wrong. I heard him go to the shower instead still singing that stupid song.

I felt my phone vibrate , grudgingly I reached for it. The caller id told me who is it. I did not bother answering, as I am equally irritated with that woman as well. Why can’t someone so beautiful and smart hold on to her lover? What exactly is she doing to lead her lover to go astray and now wreak havoc to a perfectly happy relationship? I have to stop myself from cursing her some more because truth be told I should ask myself the same questions. But then I told myself that I am not a celebrity who appears on tv and movies and gets paid to endorse products. I'm just a simple girl, who can’t even hold a simple conversation in the local language without making a single mistake. I know she has nothing to do with this. It's not her fault. But still right now I hate her with all my heart and soul.

Then who's fault it is? I asked myself again, if not her then who? Surely your not blaming yourself, are you? I told myself. You've done everything he asked of you. You gave up your job, moved away from family and friends and basically uprooted yourself just to be with him. From an independent career woman, you are now reduced to being a plain housewife dependent on him for financial support, who spend the whole day keeping his house clean, washing his clothes, cooking for him and despite all the hundred and one errands you have to do, you still make sure your fresh and pretty when he comes home. Sometimes even though your tired yourself you'll smile and dote on him and once in a while would even give him a massage. Isn't that enough?

I refused to answer my own questions, for I am in fact afraid to answer them. He is done with his shower now, and I can sense him moving towards the bed. He smells better now, and I can feel his bare skin touching mine when he finally joined me in bed. If only his fans knew that he sleeps with only his birthday suit on then ....then what I asked myself?, even without that knowledge they managed to write fics about him in various state of undress.

I silently laughed at myself remembering all the fanfics I have read online whenever I have to wait for him when he is late coming home. I once told him about it and he laughed out loud, clearly embarrassed when I told him how a fan actually went out of her way to count his moles. He told me she was wrong and then proceeded to show me his other “moles”. I was really surprised at how free he is with me.

His breathing is even now, a clear indication that his already deep in sleep. Slowly I turned around to face him. He looked liked an angel when he sleeps, sweet and innocent. I traced the contours of his nose and lips with my pinky finger. Before when I touch him like that he would catch hold of my hand and kiss each finger. We love teasing each other. I wish he would do that now. I would give everything for him to open his eyes, smile at me and catch my hand to kiss the tips of my fingers and nibble on them slowly to tease me. Silently I willed my Sungie to open his eyes and give me that smile. To reassure me that all is alright, that it was nothing but pure friendship that their bond is like that between brothers. But he did not do such things, instead he continued sleeping, sometimes mumbling words I do not understand.

I felt something warm and salty touch my lips. I didn’t notice the tears that have formed in my eyes. Slowly I turned my back on him again; I know the tears wouldn’t stop until sleeps claims my consciousness.

Forum post 2

2007-06-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

Another one of my crazy moment!!!!

Ze person below me, sometimes have a two way conversation with themselves inside their head.....

TRUE.....SO TRUE

Me: What in the world are you thinking when you wrote that?
Myself: What's wrong with what I wrote?
Me: Aren't you afraid he might come in this site out of curiosity and read what you wrote?
Myself: So what! He probably have seen worst!
Me: You honestly think he won't find out do you?
Myself: Honestly I did nothing wring in doing that, I've seen people planning on Kidnapping the other members....
Me: Well, you did that too...or have you forgotten....
Myself: I did?
Me: In Soompi!!!
Myself: Oh....that was just a plan...we haven't gotten around to the actual planning yet....
Me: Sometimes your scary.....
Myself: No I'm not I'm a perfectly sane and harmless person
Me: Hmmm.....so what exactly are you going to write next?
Myself:....I already have the "kiss"..... ....what do you think is next?
Me: Woman don't you have any pride.......don't tell me a LEMON FIC?
Myself: Who said anything about a lemon fic? I was thinking in the lines of a dinner by candlelight and a romantic proposal...but a lemon fic... .......but that's a good idea....
Me:

forum posts

2007-06-04T12:25:00.000-07:00

something I poseted in shinhwabiz that I want to repost here for posterity.

One of my crazier moments I swear :-)

The question: But Ze person below me has actually thought of what she would do if ever confronted by her fave member on what see said in here

My Answer:

Andy: You're crazypumpkin?
Me: Yes
Andy: You wrote Long Road Home
Me: Yes
Andy: Why did you write my character like that? I'm not like that!
Me: Yes you are....the biggest baby I have ever seen!!!! Not even your die hard fans would say your HOT....you're always CUTIE ANDY
Andy: No I'm not!!!
Me: Yes you are!!!
Andy: No...no...no!!
Me: Yes....yes...yes...
Andy: NO!
Me: YES!
Andy: No...no...no!!
Me: Yes....yes...yes..
Andy: Want me to prove?
Me: You can't be hot and sexy like them even if your life life depends on it!!!
Andy: (mad now....) I'll prove you wrong....... (gives Missy the longest french kiss she has ever had in her entire life...)
Me: (breathless)............that....you......how...... ........
Andy: you believe me now?
Me: Yes...........
Andy: Do I get a lemon fic now....
Me: I....ahhhhh......think....
Andy: (kisses missy some more)................
Me:
Andy: when?
Me: tonight.....
Andy: where?
Me: In every forum where I post....
Andy: ...good..............promise....
Me: ...yes
Andy:........good I'm going now....
Me: ...ok
Andy:.............(wipes her tears)...don't cry now.....I'll call you later....I'll just go out play video games with the other members
Me: ok...take care...bye

(andy leaves)

Missy:

[I]NOTICE: The above conversation is purely a product of a brain deprived of sleep, a stomach that is currently on strike due to too much caffeine and too much time on the hands of a fangirl because she's too tired to do anything else but lurk on this forum.[/i]

Writing for Money

2007-06-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

My computer decided to strike on me. It would hang up whenever I try to watch any kind of videos whether it's videos saved on my pc or from youtube it would freeze forcing me to restart. It would even hang up even before it would finish loading windows. So what do a net addict like me do? Well I spent the whole afternoon lurking on a website of travel writers. It was such an eye opener for me. Making me realize that although it's possible to earn money being a writer it takes more than talent to get you published.

Somewhere in my past blogs I said something about not wanting to get published. So allow me to correct myself. I do want to get published but it's not my ultimate goal in wanting to write. I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's how I feel right now.

So what do I want? For now I want to write, and for me to grow I need to explore new things, experience new places, meet more people. I need to leave the cocoons of the familiar in exchange for the adventure of the unfamiliar.

But how do I do that when I don't have the means to just pack up and leave? Work for it I would in the best way I could, writing. I just hope I have what it takes to earn my place under the sun and have the freedom to do what I love doing and that is writing.

That's all for now...ciao!!!