LONG ROAD HOME : HYESUNG’S ROAD HOME

LONG ROAD HOME : HYESUNG’S ROAD HOME

The clock on her dashboard said it’s already 11 past 12, and all the lights in their house are already turned off. “Sungie, must be sleep already” she told herself. Silently she thanked the heavens for giving him to her. His responsible boy….no…young man she corrected herself. His almost a head taller than her now and from the looks of it he might grow some more.

She parked as silently as she could. Their garage was made for two cars, but so far Sungie does not seem too inclined to have his own car. This made life easier for her because then she did not have to suffer the same anxiety suffered by other parents with teenage kids.

Turning the lights on, she found him asleep on the sofa surrounded by his books and magazines. She would have left him there because she knew that once he wakes up he would make his way upstairs to his room on his own. But something caught her eye. A thick book with a mixture of characters and letters written in front, a Korean English Dictionary. Slowly she flipped through the other books and magazines, half of them are in Korean too.

“His learning Korean” she silently told herself. She could feel her knees shaking. She knew that sooner or later his going to fly the coop. He only has a few months left in high school and she knows he got what it takes to get into an Ivy League school. His too good to be stuck in a community college, but Korea is too far she told herself.

She felt him move beside her. Getting up even before opening his eyes, “Mom is that you?”

“Yes, honey it’s me, did I wake you up?”

“Nahhh”

With his eyes half opened now, he saw that his mother was holding the dictionary he just bought that morning. Without saying a word he took it from her hand.

“Would you like to eat? I made some crab soup”

“Sure I would love that”

Together mother and son walked their way to the kitchen. Hyesung half feeling his way towards the kitchen because he is not fully awake yet. His partially on autopilot now. But Samantha knew that he’ll be fully awake by the time the soup is heated. The soup smells nice and the French toast he made to match looks just as heavenly. It sometimes surprised her at how good he is at the kitchen. She’s a full time career woman and part time soccer mom. Running you own law firm is not an easy task and you just have to sacrifice some things. In her case she sacrificed the delight of home cooked meals to easy to prepare and more convenient microwave foods. Until now she can’t figure out how her Sungie learned his way around the kitchen. He definitely did not learn that from here.

“That looked good!” Samantha tried to sound enthusiastic.

“I’m glad you like whatever I prepared for you”

“Even if it’s just burnt toast you know I’ll eat so long as you’re the one who made it”

“I never burnt toast before”

“Yes you did”

“I did?”

“When you were 7, it was your first time to try to cook me breakfast”

“Oh that….I did not know how to use the toaster yet”

“But I still ate it didn’t I”

Hyesung without prompting leaned his head on her shoulder.

“What are you going to do when I’ m gone?”

“Eat plastic?” Samantha tried to make light of things.

“I’ll be off to college soon….”

“Yeah I know…..when that time comes I’m going to miss you…”

“No mom…what I mean is…”

“Honey you don’t need to explain anything…you’re a responsible son…I trust your judgment”

“I didn’t mean that…”

“Honey, if what you want is to travel to Korea before you go to college. Then go ahead. I won’t stop you. I’m sure your Dad will be happy to finally have a chance to have you stay with him”

“I want to go to college there”

This surprised Samantha, she knew that Hyesung has been studying hard because his aiming for a place in an Ivy League school. He never mentioned anything about wanting to move to Korea.

“Mom, I know…it’s just that…”

“Honey, I’m honestly surprised…..but why…?.....Don’t bother explaining…I mean….you never said anything about wanting to study there”

“I know, it’s just that…you know I’m interested in going into business right…and you said Dad is a very good businessman”

“Yes”

“I just thought I could work as an intern for him while getting my degree. To get my foot at the door before anybody else”

“Honey you don’t need to explain anything”

“I need to tell you, I don’t want you to be upset at me for not even trying to get into Harvard like what we’ve always planned for.”

Samantha was speechless for a while.

“Mom, your not mad at me right?”

“Of course not, why would I be. I know there are very good universities there too!”

“But not as good as Harvard?”

She’s a Harvard alumni and pretty proud of it.

“Well yes, but where you study can only get you so far. Sometimes one’s perseverance and hard work is more important and of course how you use your grey cells are important too.”

Hyesung laughed at his mother’s attempt at humor.

For a while mother and son silently sat together with Hyesung picking on his mother’s food once in a while.

“Do you think he would like me?”

“Who you’re Dad?”

“Yes”

“Of course!”

“I’m scared”

“There’s nothing to be scared of …..his not going to win Father of the Year Award but I’m sure he’ll be happy to have you with him”

“He never calls”

“That’s because his a busy man, but at least he never forgets to send you gifts during your birthday and Christmas”

“It’s not the same”

“I know, but hey at least you don’t need to explain to him why you want a new oven for your 10^th Birthday”

Hyesung giggled.

“I just wished…”

“I know, I’m sorry for not choosing a better man for a father for you!”

“That’s not what I mean”

“I now wished I made more effort to be there for you”

“Mom, you were always there for me”

“But I was always late”

“But you were there”

“Please don’t blame your Dad for not being there, he would have, but we live halfway around the world from him”

“ I know”

And then without prompting Hyesung hugged his Mom.

“I love you. You’re the best mother for me”

“ I know honey….but I am not the best cook am I”

“ No that’s me!”

Mother and son laughed at their own joke.

“I’m going to miss you when you go away”

“I’m going to miss you too……..who’s going to cook for you now?

“Well I do know how to cook”

“Mom heating something on the microwave does not count”

“Don’t worry about me too much….I’m a big girl I can manage”

“If ever I decided to stay there for good, will you get mad at me?”

“Honey that’s silly! Why would I do that, I’ll feel bad but you know I’ll never be mad at you”

“I just want to know that. If ever I do that will you come and visit me?”

“Of course, not even your father can keep me away”

“I don’t think he stand a chance with you!”

“You bet!...want me to call him for you?”

“You’re going to do that?”

“I’ll tell him you want to go there to study and he better make sure his women treat my baby right or I’ll sue his pants off!’

“Mom, did I ever tell you your scary, no wonder Dad stayed so far away!”

Samantha said nothing to this.

“Mom, I’m sorry I did not meant it that way”

“There’s no need to apologize dear, your father and I. I don’t think we’ll last anyway. I’m too tough for him and honestly I don’t think he can stand to leave Eric to Cho. His not the best husband in the world but I know he’s a good father”

“Why? Because he refused to leave his real wife for you because of his son?”

“No because he acknowledged all of you as his own. Very few men of his standing would actually go out of their way to that!”

“But it’s not right to have so many sons from different women”

“Yes, but nobody’s perfect. He probably thought it was the most important thing in the world….to acknowledge his flesh and blood. Why don’t you go to bed. I’ll clean this up”

“Are you sure?”

“Honey I do know how to wash the dishes’

****************

Samantha put down the phone and looked at the clock, almost 3 in the morning. She did not realize she has been talking to Lee Kwan Dae this long. They’ve never talked to each this long. Yes they communicate on a regular basis because of Sungie but she herself was surprised at how excited he sounded when she told him about Hyesung’s plan to go to Korea to study and to apply as an intern in his company. Try as he might he can’t hide his excitement. He immediately asked his secretary to call Universities to check on requirement for acceptance.

Despite her tiredness, Samantha couldn’t sleep. The thought of him leaving so soon upsets her. Slowly she made here way upstairs. The house would feel so empty without him. Mentally she calculated the cost of getting an apartment in the city. The mother in her admonished her for even thinking as if her son is not coming home anymore. She told herself that this is just a passing thing. He grew up here, all his friends are here. Once he realized how different the culture is he’ll come back home. This little spark of hope is enough reason to hold on to this house she knows that. But the realist in her knows that little spark of hope cannot win against the wind of reality. Her Sungie has always longed for his father. He doesn’t say much but she knows how much he wanted to experience being close to his Dad. She can see it in the way he would look away when he sees his friends with both parents in attendance during school activities. He would always run to the phone when he knows it’s his Dad on the other line and the way he would try to hide his disappointed look when his father couldn’t stay on the phone long enough for him to say everything he wants to say. She sometimes feels guilty for letting him grow up without a father. Sure there are many other willing men who wouldn’t mind having him for a step son but somehow Samantha has always felt satisfied with her life. She’s always been an independent career woman, she never planned for a family and Sungie was not part of her plans. But the moment she learned she was pregnant with him her motherly instincts kicked in. She never regretted having him and can’t imagine life without him.

“Better start looking for a nice small apartment Sam, and better yet start learning to cook. Kwan Dae will not let him go so easily now that he has his chance at having Sungie close to him” she told herself silently.

CHAPTER 2

Hyesung scanned the crowd looking for a familiar face but did not find any. He is beginning to regret coming here now. Sure it sounded exciting and easy at first but the more he thinks about it during the flight the more he realized how absurd it is to move away so far. His mother offered to accompany him but he refused. He knows how busy she is, especially since she has to move house and put the extra furniture’s in storage and all the other nitty gritty detail that needs to be taken care of. He was hurt a little when she said that she’ll be moving to a small apartment near her office once he goes to Korea, he felt that she does not want him to come back. But he knows his mother does not mean it that way and besides the house will be too big for her, it was even too big for both of them. Thinking of her now, coming home to an empty apartment made him feel guiltier than he already is for moving so far away.

He saw a big man holding a small banner with his name on it. Slowly he made his way towards the burly man. He can feel his knees slightly shaking. “Calm down” he admonished himself. He knew the possibility of his father taking time out to pick him up from the airport is really small, he knows how busy he is. But somehow he hoped for it. Seeing that his father is nowhere in sight, Sungie tried his best to hide his disappointment.

He recognized the man as Mr. Ho Dong. He has met him before when his father came to the United States for some international convention. He and his mom met him for dinner; it was the first time he ever laid eyes on his father. He remembered it as if it was just yesterday. His father looked so dapper to him then. He was wearing a nice coat and tie, just like what the friends of his mom wear during formal occasions except that he wears them better. He was just 6 and somehow thought his father was like the father of his friends who lets them sit on their lap. He did that and he did let him sit on him briefly before he told him to sit down on his chair properly because dinner will be served soon. He was so disappointed then. He never saw his father again after that except for the occasional photos he would send and the sporadic phone calls he makes monthly. Sure he never forgot his birthday, and he always sends him a gift for Christmas and whenever he wins something in school.

“Mr. Hyesung?’ Mr. Ho Dong approached him with so much formality that Hyesung wanted to laugh at him but stopped himself. He knew how formal Koreans can be and he has to remind himself that he is still half Korean despite the fact that he was born and raised in New York City.

Hyesung saw that Mr. Ho Dong was not alone. A young man only a few younger than him was with his father’s Head of Security. Hyesung did not have to search in his memory for long who this young man is because he was introduced by Mr. Ho Dong immediately after he said his greetings.

“Mr. Hyesung this is Mr. Jinnie, he is your youngest brother”

“Nice to meet you” Junjin said to him shyly.

“Yeah…I know you, Dad sent me pictures of you, hey…Mom sent you a gift by the way. It’s in one of my bags, I‘ll give it to you later.”

“Thank you, Hyesung Hyung”

“Naahhh….it’s nothing and call me Sungie, everybody does”

“If that’s what you want you can call me Jin”

Very soon Hyesung was thanking himself for at least trying to learn Korean before coming here. Because it turns out that Junjins knowledge of the language is pretty limited. He do understand English but speaking the language is a totally different story. Anybody listening in on their conversation would find it really amusing because they are conversing in two totally different languages with Hyesung speaking in English and Junjin speaking in Korean. Once in a while Hyesung would get lost on the words used by Junjin but still it made him feel better to know that at least somebody likes him to be here.

The travel from the airport to his father’s house was pretty long. Both Junjin and Hyesung spent most of the time talking, with Junjin doing most of the talking. He talked mostly about soccer and how his team in school is doing and how they might have a chance to get into the national finals. Hyesung who is too weary now was thankful for the idle talk; he was in fact very nervous about meeting his father and other half brothers.

**********

Eric silently watched from his bedroom window as the two identical cars were parked in their driveway. He knew one of those cars is his and he has a faint idea for whom the other car is for. His mom has already talked to him about the arrival of another brother. Eric knew that he has no reason to hate him and it’s not his fault that they share the same father. He should be used to it by now but still he sometimes still resent his father for siring so many other sons from so many different women.

Another car drove into the driveway. Upon seeing who the arrivals where, Eric stood away from the window and took a deep breath, he knows what’s going to come next, he will yet again be introduced to another brother. Silently he got out of his room, passing by Minwoo’s room he knocked to warn him that Hyesung has arrived.

Eric saw the lanky boy carry some of his own luggage into the house. He is just a few months younger than him, he has to remind himself. Hoping that he wouldn’t be noticed he took that few moments to look at his foreign brother. That’s what his mother addresses him. He was tall, almost as tall as him, but his features are delicate almost like a girl.

His revelry was cut short when Minwoo intentionally bumped into him. Minwoo did not apologize but instead just grinned at him. Eric sometimes wonders what it is in Minwoo that made him welcome any additional brother so openly. He is almost like Junjin in a sense that he doesn’t seem to mind having to share their father with yet another son.

‘President Lee!” Both he and Minwoo stood in attendance when they heard Jung Hwan the butler addressed their father.

Eric was silently glad that their father was present for the introduction. He knows how awkward it can get.

Lee Kwan Dae silently patted Hyesung in the back. Hyesung acknowledged him by awkwardly bowing his head. Kwan Dae has to try really hard not to show how happy he is that Hyesung is finally going to live with him.

“How was your flight, you must be tired”

“It was ok, I got to sleep because Mom booked me in first class”

“That’s good to hear. You’ve met your brothers already?”

“We just arrived a few minutes ahead of you” Hyesung answered hoping he wouldn’t be offended by such informality.

Looking at his four sons, Lee Kwan Dae has to think for a while how to introduce them but was distracted by a running figure that bumped into Hyesung.

‘I’m sorry, I know I’m late!!!” Dongwan was still trying to catch his breath while apologetically patting the lanky boy whom he guesses must be his half brother Hyesung.

“”Sorry for bumping into you, I’m the…..”

“Fourth…..” Minwoo finished his sentence.

“No…his not the fourth his third, his older than you by a few months.” Eric corrected him.

“Ok his third and I’m fourth, I’m Minwoo by the way and this is Eric…his OLDEST”

“I know that, I’m Hyesung by the way but I won’t mind if you call me Sungie, my mom always does. And I think I’m second.”

“Naahh, I’m second” Dongwan told him.

“Actually his right, his second and your third, Minwoo is fourth and Jinnie is the youngest and hopefully the last” Lee Kwan Dae decided to correct them himself.

“Really? Are you sure” Minwoo knew he can be too cheeky at times but he just couldn’t resist not saying that.

“Well do you want another one?” Lee Kwan ask them all.

“NO!!!” they said in unison.

LONG ROAD HOME: ERIC’S ROAD HOME

Just as I promised here is the second installment. Based on Dongwan’s fic this just might turn out into a short fic instead of a One Shot which is actually my original intention. I’m already on my second chapter and I have yet to decide whether I should add another. Please help me decide by giving feedbacks so I will know if I should another chapter or two for the reader to understand Eric’s character more. I will be posting them in installments too.

LONG ROAD HOME: ERIC’S ROAD HOME

Chapter I

She walked the length of the corridor towards her husband’s office, unmindful of the eyes that were following her every move. Her husband’s employees rarely see her in his office that her mere presence here today is a reason enough for curiosity. She knew they would be more curious now if they ever find out the reason for her visit. For this is not a social visit, she came to the General Headquarters of the LKD Group to ask her husband for divorce.

She knew they should have done it a long time ago. Then things would have been easier and not as complicated. She knew they would eventually end up divorcing each other the moment they said their “I do’s”. It was an arranged marriage, arranged by parents who thought that their union would strengthen the influence of each family. It served its purpose yes, but it also led to her and Kwan Dae’s estrangement from their respective parents. He rebelled, had an affair left and right and siring illegitimate sons in the process, how many she no longer care to count. She on the other hand stopped sleeping with him the moment she found out she was pregnant; it was a deal she made with him the day before they got married. She will give him an heir, and then they are free to live life the way they saw fit. Sure she had her affairs, but unlike Kwan Dae who flaunts them, she at least was very discreet, careful to protect her reputation.

To many people she was the long suffering wife of Lee Kwan Dae, a martyr who tolerated her husband’s infidelity and welcomed his bastard sons by other women into their house. Little did they know that she only tolerated them because Kwan Dae would not have it any other way. He may not win husband of the year award, but he at least tries to be a good father to his sons. Secretly she pitied them. At least Eric has her, and despite her lack of feeling for his father, she loves her son very much. Too much actually that she allowed this farce they called a marriage to go on because she did not want him to suffer the stigma of coming from a broken family.

Then Walter happened. He was a diplomat she met in the many social functions she attends. Handsome, witty and intelligent, he did not only catch her eyes but also her heart. He was very different from all the other lovers she ever had, for one is that he is not married. He offered her his heart and friendship, said he wanted to marry her, something her other lovers could never give her. He was willing to give her everything he could offer; his only condition is that he does not want Eric in the equation. He does not want any kids of his own either. This hurt her a lot and she was ready to give up on this chance of happiness if he didn’t offer her an alternative. So long as Eric will not live them on a permanent basis, she will be free to see him anytime and Eric is welcome to visit them anytime.

She did not wait for Lee Kwan Dae’s secretary to show her in his office. He was alone and seems to be caught up in his own world. She knocked loudly on his table.

“I thought the lawyers are already here?”

“I asked them to come a little later; I wanted to talk to you”

“I don’t think there is anything to talk about”

“Would you like some tea?”

“Water would be fine”

After calling his secretary to ask her to bring them some refreshments, Lee Kwan Dae ushered his soon to be estranged wife into his private conference room.

“Please make yourself comfortable. They will be here in a couple of minutes”

“I did not come here to exchange pleasantries Kwan Dae”

Kwan Dae did not say anything he seemed to be deep in his thoughts. Cho was left with no choice but to just wait till Kwan Dae decides to speak. Trying not to appear bored she pretended to look at a large painting that was dominating one of the walls in the room.

“I’m sorry”

She was surprised by his words; Kwan Dae never apologizes for anything and to anyone.

“Excuse me, did I hear that right?”

“I said I’m sorry….”

“Don’t you think it’s too late for that now!”

“I’m sorry if I cannot give you the happiness Walter could”

She did not know what to say to this.

“I guess I…..I should say the same”

“It was a stupid mistake…yes….just a stupid mistake”

“Yes just a stupid mistake”

Cho could not believe she was having this conversation with her husband. They never talk like this. In fact they don’t talk to each other unless it has anything to do with Eric.

‘Kwan Dae…”

“Yes….”

“Walter said he can visit anytime he wants…..and I hope you don’t mind if I….”

“You’re free to see him anytime….”

“Promise me you’ll take care of him……I don’t want to hear any of your mistress laying their finger on my son…”

“Cho….you don’t need to tell me that”

“Yes, I know that”

“Cho can I ask you a favor…”

“Yes…anything”

“Can you talk to Eric….tell him….tell him it’s not his fault we are divorcing… that Junjin and Minwoo has nothing to do with this…with us”

“I’ll do that, I know he will understand”

They shared a few minutes of uneasy silence before Cho spoke again.

“So Minwoo is yours too?”

“The DNA tests arrived this morning, all positive”

“He seemed to be a nice boy, do you think his mother wouldn’t…..”

“She better not…unless she want to end up in jail”

“She did all those to him?”

“Yes, I sent people to investigate and check out his story. They all said his telling the truth.”

“I’m glad he found you.”

“I’m not sure that is something to be glad about”

“Do not be too hard on yourself.”

“If I didn’t sired any of them they wouldn’t have to suffer all this pain”

At that instance, their respective lawyers arrive. It only took five minutes before the marriage which changed them forever was over. Their both free now to pursue the happiness that has eluded them as a couple. The only question left to answer is whether Eric, the fruit of their unhappy union would also find the happiness they both want to give but was unable to give him.

Chapter II

She found him in his room, playing games on his computer again. It took a while before he noticed that she was there. Without a word he stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

“Are you busy son?”

“Just playing. You did it did you?”

Before answering she took hold of his hand and looked into his eyes.

“It’s all for the best”

“If that’s what you say”

He was about to go back to his computer games but his mother stopped him.

“Sit with me for a while”

Eric did as he was told.

“I know this is confusing to you, that you probably hate me and your Dad right now. Someday you will understand why”

Still he did not say anything.

“Not because were divorcing it means your also going to lose us.”

“Walter don’t like me”

“Honey it’s not that he doesn’t like you, it’s just that the possibility and responsibility of being a father scares him”

“Then why are you marrying him?”

“I don’t know….maybe because he can make me laugh….make me happy”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes. But I love you more….but”

“You want to be happy too….”

“I’m sorry….but yes….”

“You were never happy with Dad?”

Cho couldn’t answer her son. She could only nod her head.

“Is Dad going to get married too?”

“I don’t know?” Cho cannot stop her tears from flowing now, seeing her son look so lost.

“Honey I want you to look at me….me and your father….we love…we love you…we love you very much…but we can never make each other happy”

“Is that boy coming to live here now?”

Cho was surprised with the change in subject.

“You mean… Minwoo…yes, they gave him a DNA test and it came back positive”

“So I have 3 brothers now”

“Four…you forgot Hyesung”

“Yeah…I forgot about him”

“You’re not mad at your father are you?”

“I don’t know….”

“Honey…. Look at me….your father made a lot of mistakes…..maybe he made a mistake by giving you so many brothers all having different mothers…..but your father love you….he loves all of you….that’s why his letting them live here…..their mother cannot take care of them “

“You can take care of me…you always took care of me….then why…”

“We had this conversation before…maybe someday you can come and live with me…….…when Walter changes his mind”

Eric did not answer, but instead went back to playing on his computer. Cho can’t think of anything to say anymore. She knew she has hurt Eric by leaving, but she also knew that she does not belong in this house. This house is home to her son but not to her.

She left the room without looking back at her son. If only she did she would have seen him silently crying.

THE END

DONGWAN'S ROAD HOME

First of the 4 Backstories I wrote for Long Road Home

DONGWAN’S ROAD HOME

Dongwan tried to run as fast as his short legs would allow. He was supposed to be home two hours ago and he knows that if he is not home before the sun sets he would be in big trouble. His mother can be so unreasonable when it comes to curfews and this is not the first time Dongwan has broken his curfew. His mother knows how much he likes taking photographs and knows that once he finds something interesting to shoot, he lost all sense of time. “Run faster…you idiot….or I am in TROUBLE”.

He was running so fast he did not notice that a black Mercedes was park right in front of their gate and crashed right into it.

Dongwan’s books, his camera and extra batteries scattered all over the place. Under normal circumstances Dongwan would have been worried that he would be made to pay for the damages to the car, but he was more worried about his Mom getting mad at him that he just picked his stuff and made a dash for the door their house. The driver of the car got out of the car and run after him, but Dongwan proved to be a fast runner and he was inside the house even before the driver has time to get out of the car.

“Hey you!! Come back here!” the man shouted at him.

Dongwan slammed opened their door. The house was small with only one bedroom he shares with his Mom, a small kitchen and a small receiving area that also serves as their dining area. Despite being small it was spotlessly clean, something his mother is proud of. For her no matter how small a house is, it should be spotless because a clean house reflects on the character of the people living in it.

“Is the devil running after you?...coming in like that!” his mother scolded him. She was a small woman and Dongwan always wonders if he got his height from her. Standing at only five feet 2 inches, she holds herself in manner that is both proud and regal. Take away her simple and cheap clothes and you would think you are talking to a woman born from royalty. She always talks in a dignified manner and for as long as Dongwan could remember she has never seen her mother lowered herself to anybody. She treats everybody with respect but she never acts or felt shame in her being poor. This is something she has instilled in Dongwan since he was a small child. Be proud of who you are and what you are capable of doing, not because you do not have money doesn’t mean you are inferior to those who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, she always say this to him.

Secretly Dongwan is thankful for his Mom for teaching him this. He knew he would never achieve anything on his own if his mother did not teach him to be confident in himself.

Panting hard, Dongwan tried to catch his breath before answering his mother. That’s when he noticed that they have a visitor. A familiar face he has seen sporadically for the last 15 years. Dongwan silently wondered what brought his father to their house. He knew that his father was rich, how rich he doesn’t really know. He has never questioned his mother on why they had to live like this despite him having a very rich father. His father was a very sensitive issue with his Mom, so despite the fact that his mother allows his father to visit him every now and then and spend on his education, she refuses to discuss him with Dongwan. She would tell him that what happened between her and Lee Kwan Dae is their problem and Dongwan has nothing to do with it.

“Sir” he bowed to acknowledge his father. He seldom calls him Dad or Father. Lee Kwan Dae is not exactly the warmest man on earth. Although he takes time out to see Dongwan every now and then and make sure he gets the best education, most of their meeting seem more like a perfunctory interview devoid of the warmth and laughter shared between a parent and a child. He would ask him how he is doing in school. He in turn would tell him about his grades, the extra math and English lessons he is taking in preparation for university, the many prizes he won for being a member of the Taekwondo club. When his father found out that he likes taking photographs he bought him a very expensive camera which he almost didn’t get to use because his mother refused to let his Dad buy him any expensive gifts. He could still remember the phone conversation his mother has with his father. It was the first time he ever saw his mother get mad like that. Dongwan offered to return the camera but his father refused saying he has every right to give it to him because he is after all his son. His father stopped seeing him after that. He would call him, go to his school to see him or ask him to meet him for lunch but he never set foot in their house ever again after that incident. Not until now.

“Sit down” Lee Kwan Dae looked at his 3^rd son. He could barely see himself in him. He has his mother’s eyes, and contour of the face. Silently he wished that he wouldn’t have her height too, but Dongwan it seems would not grow any taller than 5’6 at the rate he is growing now. His other brothers got their height from him and hence are all tall, all except Minwoo who can stand shoulder to shoulder with Dongwan.

“How’s school?” He asked him

“I got into the Advance Math class, and my English teacher is asking me if I want to join the journalism club” Dongwan was still out of breath but his parents could hear traces of pride in his voice.

“You already have too many clubs already…adding another one might affect your grades.” His mother told him in a matter of fact manner. She knows how much of an achiever her son is and it sometimes worried her that he might be spreading himself too thin by getting involved in too many clubs in school.

“You mother is right , you already have taekwondo, photography, history club and there’s your Math and English academy too…doing everything all the same, some is bound to suffer. Hopefully it’s not your grades.”

Dongwan was silent; he knew that he can’t argue against his parents at the same time.

“If you really want to join this journalism club, you have to give up one” his father said.

Dongwan bowed his head as he silently contemplates which of the many clubs and organizations he was willing to give up. He knows that he has to make a wise decision.

“I’m already in the Advance Math Class, I don’t need to go to the Math Academy because the lessons are the same anyways” Dongwan silently hoped both parents would agree. It’s not that he hates Math, in fact he is good at it but doing it all the time sometimes bores him.

“No!...It’s important, you need those lessons to get into a good University” his mother said.

Dongwan is panicking now, he couldn’t think of which one to give up because he wants to be in all those clubs, and besides all his friends are in there too.

“Don’t be too hard on the boy”

Lee Kwan Dae’s words surprised Dongwan, because when it comes to his education his father is as demanding as his mother. He seldom says a word but Dongwan sometime has this feeling that his father would only acknowledge him for as long as he does well in everything he does.

“He can’t give that up, he needs to do well in that subject to get into a good University” his mother insisted.

“Well that depends on what he wants to take up in University.” His father said.

Dongwan could sense animosity building up. He knew he has to say something that is acceptable to both parents.

“I think I’ll just give up the History Club”

“Are you sure about that?” his mother asked him.

“Yes”

“That’s settled then, you resign from that club so that you can join this new one. We don’t want to see your grades going down either. Is that understood?” his father said to him.

“Yes sir” Dongwan said. He would miss the fun they have during meetings and visits to museums but other than that he wouldn’t miss anything else.

Dongwan looked at both parents. He wanted to ask what brought his father here but he can’t think of a way to broach the subject. He looked at his mother but she did not looked at him instead she stood up and went into the kitchen.

“Why don’t you go and take him out for dinner, I’m too tired to cook right now.”

“How about you, what are …” Lee Kwan Dae asked her

“I’m not hungry…” she cut him off.

Lee Kwan Dae and Dongwan stood up to go. But before they could step out of the house she reminded Lee Kwan Dae to bring Dongwan home before 8 because he still has to finish his homework.

“Get him home before 8 he still has to finish his homework.”

“Sure, no problem with that” with that Lee Kwan Dae stood up and left the tiny house his sons has called home all his life.

Dongwan silently followed his father towards the car. It was the same car he crashed into earlier. The driver of the car got out and was about to reprimand him but stopped when Lee Kwan Dae spoke to him directly.

“Mr. Kang, this is my son Dongwan, son this is Mr. Kang Ho Dong. He is head of my security and also drives me around occasionally”

Mr. Kang bowed down to him and Dongwan did the same.

Father and son got into the car silently. Dongwan has no idea where they are going and he doesn’t really know how to ask. After a couple of minutes their car stopped in front of a Japanese Restaurant. Dongwan is not really picky with food and his father always takes him to fancy restaurants, regardless of what Dongwan is wearing whenever the two of them meet.

The head waiter greeted them and led them to a private room.

His father did not ask him what he wants but ordered for the two of them. It did not take long for their order to arrive. Father and son ate in silence.

“How’s school?”

Dongwan was perplexed because his father already asked him about that earlier.

“I’m doing okay, I guess”

“I know, your mother showed me your grades. I think they are good enough to get you in a good private school.”

“Why do I need to transfer school?” Dongwan is getting curious now. His mother never told him anything about moving to another place.

“Son, let me be honest you. I know you are mature for your age and will understand”

“What will I understand?”

“Your mother is sick”

“Mom can’t be sick, she has never been sick”

“Well she is, I have known for a while but she refuses to let me help her.”

“What does it have with me changing schools anyway?” Dongwan has never talked like this to his father. This is all confusing to him.

“You know I could have done more for you and your mom, but your mother is one stubborn woman. She refuses any of my help and only agreed to let me spend for your education because she wants you to get into a good university and have a better chance in life.”

Dongwan did not say anything because he knows what he is saying is the truth.

“I wouldn’t have known she was sick if she didn’t tell me herself.. “

“How sick is she?”

“She has ovarian cancer; apparently it runs in the family.”

“But that can be cured right. My classmate’s mother has cancer too but she got well after they operated on her.”

“Your mother was diagnosed too late, only a miracle can cure her now”

“But…”

“I got both of you an apartment near the school we have chosen for you. It’s also near the hospital where she will be getting her treatments. It’s also close to my house and I could ask her to let you live with me now but I do not want to do that to your mother. She may have been stubborn and gave me a difficult time when it come’s to you, but your mother is a good woman and I can never and will never question her being a good mother to you. She needs you now.”

Dongwan did not know what to say. He does not even know what to think. His mother is sick and may even die. It all seems like a bad dream to him.

“I will send somebody to your schools to talk with your teachers, I’m sure you’ll have no problem meeting new friends. The apartment is fully furnished so you only need to bring your personal belongings. Your mother has agreed to let me buy you new clothes and things for your new school. It’s a private school. I don’t want other kids looking down at you because of your appearance.”

“There is nothing wrong with my clothes. Mom always says…”

“I know what your Mother would say….son this is not about what you think…this is about what others think about you now. I don’t want you to ever second guess yourself because others looks down on you and think you are inferior to them. Being in a private school also means that you will be surrounded by kids whose parents pampers them to a point that they do not care about others anymore but themselves. I do not want you to be like them. You are your mother’s son and I know that you will never be like them. But it’s also important to fit in, to not stand out like a sore thumb. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir” was all Dongwan could say. He has so many questions forming in his head but he couldn’t bring himself to ask them.

“Now that’s settled, I would like to ask you to come to the office tomorrow with your mother. Ms. Alice my secretary would take you to shop and your mother and I would go to your new house. I ask Ms. Alice to buy your mother some new clothes and shoes, so make sure that when you get home tonight you take a good look at what’s her size is including the size of her shoes so that you could get the right one for her. Lastly don’t tell your mother those are from me, just tell her that you thought she should have some new things too. That I gave you some money to spend for yourself and you just used some of those to buy things for her. Do not buy anything too expensive or she might suspect okay.”

“Yes sir”

“What else, yes I already told your brothers that you and your mother will moving somewhere near and that you might occasionally join us for dinner or come to the house more often. I would like you to spend the night at the house whenever you mother has to stay the night at the hospital. Security in the building where your new home will be is very good, but I still do not want to think of you spending the night alone. A room has been prepared for you and I will ask Ms. Alice to buy you extra clothes to keep at home so you that you do not need to pack a bag every time you need to stay the night. Any question?”

“Is Mom going to be alright?”

For the first time Kwan Dae has a strong urge to hug his son. He can see how scared he is by the thought of losing his Mom, and all the changes that he is going through right now. But instead of hugging him he gave the boy a tap on the shoulder.

“Your mother is a strong woman, but sometimes will and strength is not enough. If she has come to me earlier I could have sent her abroad for treatment. The only thing to do now is to hope she would be able to hold on long enough to see you graduate from school. That would make her very happy. So try to be good in your studies, okay!”

Dongwan just nod his head. He can feel tears starting to build up in his eyes and he has to blink a couple times to stop himself from crying. He has to say something he knows that but he doesn’t know what to say.

“Dad”

“Yes?”

“I think I scratched your car. I was running home because Mom might get mad at me for not coming home in time and I did not see it was parked in front of the house and smashed my camera into it”

“Did you hurt yourself?”

“No, but I think my camera is useless now, and I think Mr. Hodong will be mad once he sees the damage I done in daylight”

“Don’t think about it anymore, that car is old anyway and I have been thinking of replacing it already. Your birthday is coming soon am I right”

“Yes the week after next”

“How you would like a new camera for your next birthday, one of my staff showed me the new camera they bought for use by the Public Relations department. It’s digital and has expandable memory and you do not need to use films. But you need a printer to print the pictures and a computer too….hmm…I’ll ask one of the people in the office to have a pc set up in your new room. Consider that as your price for getting into the Advance Math Program and the printer for winning….what’s that again…the last medal you won”

“I did not win any medal, but one of the pictures I took got accepted and was published by a local news paper.”

“Yeah that one, your mother called me up to tell me to buy a copy of that paper so I will see your work. It was good”

“Thanks”

“I think we better get going now. Your mother is waiting for you”

Chapter II

He used to dream of living in a big house, of having his own room, of having a big closet where he could store his cameras and equipments, but now that he has all of those and more Dongwan found himself unable to sleep. No matter how much he tossed or turn he couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in. He gave up on sleep after tossing and turning for the umpteenth time. It’s not that his bed is not comfortable, far from it, it was the softest bed he ever slept on, and the sheets are delicate to the touch. The apartment has four bedrooms, one for him and another for his mom, another room were turned into a study for him and the other one as his father has suggested was to be used as a guest room. Dongwan can’t think of a reason why they would need a guestroom when his mother’s relatives have never once sought to visit them. They did not approve of his mother getting pregnant out of wedlock, and they certainly made sure that she and her bastard of a son know that they are no longer considered as family.

Dongwan tiptoed into the spacious kitchen. The kitchen by his estimate is bigger than their former house. A large fridge, the size he only sees on TV and magazines dominates the whole kitchen. His mother protested on why they would need such a big apartment, but his father said it was the only one available in the area. Upon opening the fridge, he was greeted by large assortments of food. Her mother did not complain on this, she knows Dongwan’s father has always been generous to his sons, and she knows that she could no longer deny Dongwan creature comforts that his father is willingly giving to all of his children.

He helped himself to some juice and snatched an apple off the kitchen counter. He was settling himself in front of his new computer when he heard a noise coming from his mother’s bedroom. Coming nearer he heard his mother moaning in pain. Dongwan knew the reason why, his father did not spare him from the sordid detail of his mother’s illness, that and coupled with the research on the internet made him understand what his mother is going through. But it did not prepare him for the sound of pain he has been hearing from his mother lately. In front of him she is still the proud and feisty woman he has known all his life, but lately he has been noticing that she has been losing a lot of weight and at night he would usually hear those stifled cry. How she managed to hide that from him when they were still living in their old home is beyond him. When he told his Dad about this he told him that it would get worst as the diseases progresses. She is taking medication but sooner or later those medications would stop working and the pain would be uncontrollable.

Silently he opened the door and saw his mother curled up like a fetus moaning in pain.

“Mom, are you ok?”

“I’m ok go back to bed”

“Would you like me to get you anything? Shall I call the doctor?”

“No, this will go away soon. Go back to your room you still have classes tomorrow.”

But Dongwan did not go; instead he crawled into bed with his mom and hugged her gently. His mother did not protest.

“Your father may be a cold man, but he looked after all of his sons well.”

Dongwan was surprised with his mother. He can’t remember anytime that his mother talked openly about his father like this.

“He was good looking, and charming when he wants too. …yes…the most charming man when he wants too”

“Mom, there’s no need to say anything”

“I want to tell you myself, I don’t want you to hear it from others”

“Mom”

“He was already President of LKD Group when I met him, ………..I knew he has a wife, ………….I also know he has a son with her, ……….and another with a foreign born lawyer”

“Mom really you should rest now”

“He was a charming man; …….treated me like a Queen, .told me he would take of me”

“I was so naïve……thinking he would leave his wife and son for me…..thinking that if he did I would be happy……. And then you happened…”

“Mother…”

“He promised to take care of us and he did…..Lee Kwan Dae is a man of his words…. But I want more than that….I was young and ….and too selfish for my own good….he did not leave her…he won’t leave her…..he said he do not want to lose Eric….I took you away…..but my family would have nothing to do with me…..I thought I could raise you up on my own….”

“But mother you did….”

“No……when you were 2 years old you become very sick…I thought I was going to lose you….by that time my pride was the only thing that was left of me…… I came knocking in your father’s door…told him you were sick….he agreed to help me in the condition that I let him see you….to let you know he was your father….to accept his help….I refused….in the end he won….because I was afraid to lose you…..so I let him spend money on you….send you to the best Tutoring Academy…pay for all the extra lessons you want to take….all those taekwondo classes you want to join….. He wanted to do more for you……give you a bigger house to leave in….expensive toys to play with…. He wanted to send you to a private school…….but I was afraid that if I give in to him he would start to demand more….I was afraid in exchange for this creature comforts he was willing to give me he would take you away from me…..”

Another wave of painful spasm cut short their conversation. Dongwan hugged his mother tighter. She let him hold her until the pain subsided. It was a while before Dongwan heard his mother’s steady breathing. After checking on her one last time, he silently tiptoed out of the room. He went back to his computer and the now stale glass of juice and uneaten apple. He knows sleep will not come for him tonight.

*****

He knows all of his brother’s by sight. Their father made sure of that. Eric the legitimate one and the oldest is always the silent one and wouldn’t talk unless spoken to. Hyesung the one from America barely speaks too but that’s because he is just learning how to speak Korean. He talks to everyone in English and only speaks Korean when talking to Junjin the youngest one. That one is the most playful of the lot. He seems to be always moving about and can’t seem to sit still for even a short period of time. The two seems to get along very well. Hyesung would drive Junjin to school and in more than one occasion accompanied him during soccer practice. When their father is not at home the two would talk nonstop about the game, one talking in English and the other in Korean... Minwoo on the other hand is the only one who would openly talk to Dongwan. He and Eric seem to get along very well, but then he seems to get along well with everybody.

Dongwan is spending the night there as his father instructed him to do when his mother has to stay the night in the hospital. Lately these sleepovers have become more frequent. The others knew the reason why but they seem to know that he did not want to talk about this with them. Their father told them to eat dinner without him as he will be late in coming home.

Dinner which is usually a silent affair is a bit animated that night. Junjin’s team won a very important match which would enable them to get into the regional finals, he, Hyesung and Minwoo is having one of their weird bi-language discussions about the game. Eric was silently listening to them, while Dongwan on the other kept to himself. He knew he should eat, but food is the farthest things on his mind right now. This is the 5^th time in 5 weeks that his mother has to stay the night in the hospital. His father has told him to get all of his things in their apartment and take it to his house because his mother might stay in the hospital a while. He wanted to go there but he has forbidden him and said that he wouldn’t be able to see his mother anyway because she was in isolation.

He jumped out of his seat the moment he hears the phone rang; he beat Eric by few steps in answering it. The other three did not bother from getting up from their seat.

“Hello, Lee Residence”

“Wannie, is that you?” it was their father’s voice

“Yes sir it’s me”

The others stopped whatever they are talking about when they heard it was their father on the phone.

“Listen to me carefully, the hospital called me and told me to go to the hospital, I want you to meet me there. Ask Eric or Sungie to drive you there okay, give the phone to Eric.”

Dongwan without a word gave the phone to Eric. He could feel his world turning upside down. Eric has to give him a strong tug to get him to listen to what he has to say.

“Dad told me to drive you to the hospital.”

“Ok”

Dongwan was in a state of shock, it barely registered on him that the others also got into the car and came with him to the hospital. Eric drove, while Hyesung who has driven him to the hospital a few times already gave instructions on how to get there.

Their father did not say anything when all five of them arrived in the hospital together. Dongwan was immediately ushered into his mother’s room to pay his last respect. His father stayed with him through it all.

****

None of his mother’s relatives came to the funeral. He did not expect them to come anyway. His father took care of everything, and his brothers all came. None of them said a word to him but they were there. Dongwan felt numb, no tears would come, Mr. Shin the butler has to force him to eat and in more than one occasion his father has to order him to go home to get some rest.

****

It was the same room he used whenever he comes to sleep over. It was more spacious than the room he occupies in the apartment. He does not have his own study room here but the room is big enough for all his stuff. His father sent someone from the office set up his computer in his new room. Somebody else took care of packing his mothers belongings. His father said his sending it somewhere for storage but let Dongwan keep anything he wants to keep. In the end he settled for the few photographs of the two them together and all the photo albums of pictures he took went into storage too.

His father never came to talk to him again about his mother. He did not offer any explanations or offered him a comforting hug. He just let him be. Before long they developed a routine around the house that they would be keeping at least until all of them are old enough to drive their own car. Eric and Hyesung who are already old enough to have a driver’s license drive their own car. He, Minwoo and Junjin are either dropped off to school by Driver Jongmin or catch a ride with either one of them. Eric never complained on being their chauffeur but he remained distant. Hyesung is more tolerant and made an effort to converse with him once in a while.

Their father remained just like, an authority they respect and secretly worship. A man who is so involved with all their lives but managed to remain so distant. The father who unknowingly sowed fear in their hearts and who could send them scampering to their feet with a just s tern look. Somehow Dongwan got used to the dreary atmosphere around the house, the silence that permeates the place whenever all of them sat down together for dinner. This is home now he knows that and he belongs here whether he likes it or not.

Dongwan turned off his nightlight and waited for sleep to come to him.

THE END