First of the 4 Backstories I wrote for Long Road Home
DONGWAN’S ROAD HOME
Dongwan tried to run as fast as his short legs would allow. He was supposed to be home two hours ago and he knows that if he is not home before the sun sets he would be in big trouble. His mother can be so unreasonable when it comes to curfews and this is not the first time Dongwan has broken his curfew. His mother knows how much he likes taking photographs and knows that once he finds something interesting to shoot, he lost all sense of time. “Run faster…you idiot….or I am in TROUBLE”.
He was running so fast he did not notice that a black Mercedes was park right in front of their gate and crashed right into it.
Dongwan’s books, his camera and extra batteries scattered all over the place. Under normal circumstances Dongwan would have been worried that he would be made to pay for the damages to the car, but he was more worried about his Mom getting mad at him that he just picked his stuff and made a dash for the door their house. The driver of the car got out of the car and run after him, but Dongwan proved to be a fast runner and he was inside the house even before the driver has time to get out of the car.
“Hey you!! Come back here!” the man shouted at him.
Dongwan slammed opened their door. The house was small with only one bedroom he shares with his Mom, a small kitchen and a small receiving area that also serves as their dining area. Despite being small it was spotlessly clean, something his mother is proud of. For her no matter how small a house is, it should be spotless because a clean house reflects on the character of the people living in it.
“Is the devil running after you?...coming in like that!” his mother scolded him. She was a small woman and Dongwan always wonders if he got his height from her. Standing at only five feet 2 inches, she holds herself in manner that is both proud and regal. Take away her simple and cheap clothes and you would think you are talking to a woman born from royalty. She always talks in a dignified manner and for as long as Dongwan could remember she has never seen her mother lowered herself to anybody. She treats everybody with respect but she never acts or felt shame in her being poor. This is something she has instilled in Dongwan since he was a small child. Be proud of who you are and what you are capable of doing, not because you do not have money doesn’t mean you are inferior to those who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, she always say this to him.
Secretly Dongwan is thankful for his Mom for teaching him this. He knew he would never achieve anything on his own if his mother did not teach him to be confident in himself.
Panting hard, Dongwan tried to catch his breath before answering his mother. That’s when he noticed that they have a visitor. A familiar face he has seen sporadically for the last 15 years. Dongwan silently wondered what brought his father to their house. He knew that his father was rich, how rich he doesn’t really know. He has never questioned his mother on why they had to live like this despite him having a very rich father. His father was a very sensitive issue with his Mom, so despite the fact that his mother allows his father to visit him every now and then and spend on his education, she refuses to discuss him with Dongwan. She would tell him that what happened between her and Lee Kwan Dae is their problem and Dongwan has nothing to do with it.
“Sir” he bowed to acknowledge his father. He seldom calls him Dad or Father. Lee Kwan Dae is not exactly the warmest man on earth. Although he takes time out to see Dongwan every now and then and make sure he gets the best education, most of their meeting seem more like a perfunctory interview devoid of the warmth and laughter shared between a parent and a child. He would ask him how he is doing in school. He in turn would tell him about his grades, the extra math and English lessons he is taking in preparation for university, the many prizes he won for being a member of the Taekwondo club. When his father found out that he likes taking photographs he bought him a very expensive camera which he almost didn’t get to use because his mother refused to let his Dad buy him any expensive gifts. He could still remember the phone conversation his mother has with his father. It was the first time he ever saw his mother get mad like that. Dongwan offered to return the camera but his father refused saying he has every right to give it to him because he is after all his son. His father stopped seeing him after that. He would call him, go to his school to see him or ask him to meet him for lunch but he never set foot in their house ever again after that incident. Not until now.
“Sit down” Lee Kwan Dae looked at his 3rd son. He could barely see himself in him. He has his mother’s eyes, and contour of the face. Silently he wished that he wouldn’t have her height too, but Dongwan it seems would not grow any taller than 5’6 at the rate he is growing now. His other brothers got their height from him and hence are all tall, all except Minwoo who can stand shoulder to shoulder with Dongwan.
“How’s school?” He asked him
“I got into the Advance Math class, and my English teacher is asking me if I want to join the journalism club” Dongwan was still out of breath but his parents could hear traces of pride in his voice.
“You already have too many clubs already…adding another one might affect your grades.” His mother told him in a matter of fact manner. She knows how much of an achiever her son is and it sometimes worried her that he might be spreading himself too thin by getting involved in too many clubs in school.
“You mother is right , you already have taekwondo, photography, history club and there’s your Math and English academy too…doing everything all the same, some is bound to suffer. Hopefully it’s not your grades.”
Dongwan was silent; he knew that he can’t argue against his parents at the same time.
“If you really want to join this journalism club, you have to give up one” his father said.
Dongwan bowed his head as he silently contemplates which of the many clubs and organizations he was willing to give up. He knows that he has to make a wise decision.
“I’m already in the Advance Math Class, I don’t need to go to the
“No!...It’s important, you need those lessons to get into a good University” his mother said.
Dongwan is panicking now, he couldn’t think of which one to give up because he wants to be in all those clubs, and besides all his friends are in there too.
“Don’t be too hard on the boy”
Lee Kwan Dae’s words surprised Dongwan, because when it comes to his education his father is as demanding as his mother. He seldom says a word but Dongwan sometime has this feeling that his father would only acknowledge him for as long as he does well in everything he does.
“He can’t give that up, he needs to do well in that subject to get into a good University” his mother insisted.
“Well that depends on what he wants to take up in University.” His father said.
Dongwan could sense animosity building up. He knew he has to say something that is acceptable to both parents.
“I think I’ll just give up the History Club”
“Are you sure about that?” his mother asked him.
“Yes”
“That’s settled then, you resign from that club so that you can join this new one. We don’t want to see your grades going down either. Is that understood?” his father said to him.
“Yes sir” Dongwan said. He would miss the fun they have during meetings and visits to museums but other than that he wouldn’t miss anything else.
Dongwan looked at both parents. He wanted to ask what brought his father here but he can’t think of a way to broach the subject. He looked at his mother but she did not looked at him instead she stood up and went into the kitchen.
“Why don’t you go and take him out for dinner, I’m too tired to cook right now.”
“How about you, what are …” Lee Kwan Dae asked her
“I’m not hungry…” she cut him off.
Lee Kwan Dae and Dongwan stood up to go. But before they could step out of the house she reminded Lee Kwan Dae to bring Dongwan home before 8 because he still has to finish his homework.
“Get him home before 8 he still has to finish his homework.”
“Sure, no problem with that” with that Lee Kwan Dae stood up and left the tiny house his sons has called home all his life.
Dongwan silently followed his father towards the car. It was the same car he crashed into earlier. The driver of the car got out and was about to reprimand him but stopped when Lee Kwan Dae spoke to him directly.
“Mr. Kang, this is my son Dongwan, son this is Mr. Kang Ho Dong. He is head of my security and also drives me around occasionally”
Mr. Kang bowed down to him and Dongwan did the same.
Father and son got into the car silently. Dongwan has no idea where they are going and he doesn’t really know how to ask. After a couple of minutes their car stopped in front of a Japanese Restaurant. Dongwan is not really picky with food and his father always takes him to fancy restaurants, regardless of what Dongwan is wearing whenever the two of them meet.
The head waiter greeted them and led them to a private room.
His father did not ask him what he wants but ordered for the two of them. It did not take long for their order to arrive. Father and son ate in silence.
“How’s school?”
Dongwan was perplexed because his father already asked him about that earlier.
“I’m doing okay, I guess”
“I know, your mother showed me your grades. I think they are good enough to get you in a good private school.”
“Why do I need to transfer school?” Dongwan is getting curious now. His mother never told him anything about moving to another place.
“Son, let me be honest you. I know you are mature for your age and will understand”
“What will I understand?”
“Your mother is sick”
“Mom can’t be sick, she has never been sick”
“Well she is, I have known for a while but she refuses to let me help her.”
“What does it have with me changing schools anyway?” Dongwan has never talked like this to his father. This is all confusing to him.
“You know I could have done more for you and your mom, but your mother is one stubborn woman. She refuses any of my help and only agreed to let me spend for your education because she wants you to get into a good university and have a better chance in life.”
Dongwan did not say anything because he knows what he is saying is the truth.
“I wouldn’t have known she was sick if she didn’t tell me herself.. “
“How sick is she?”
“She has ovarian cancer; apparently it runs in the family.”
“But that can be cured right. My classmate’s mother has cancer too but she got well after they operated on her.”
“Your mother was diagnosed too late, only a miracle can cure her now”
“But…”
“I got both of you an apartment near the school we have chosen for you. It’s also near the hospital where she will be getting her treatments. It’s also close to my house and I could ask her to let you live with me now but I do not want to do that to your mother. She may have been stubborn and gave me a difficult time when it come’s to you, but your mother is a good woman and I can never and will never question her being a good mother to you. She needs you now.”
Dongwan did not know what to say. He does not even know what to think. His mother is sick and may even die. It all seems like a bad dream to him.
“I will send somebody to your schools to talk with your teachers, I’m sure you’ll have no problem meeting new friends. The apartment is fully furnished so you only need to bring your personal belongings. Your mother has agreed to let me buy you new clothes and things for your new school. It’s a private school. I don’t want other kids looking down at you because of your appearance.”
“There is nothing wrong with my clothes. Mom always says…”
“I know what your Mother would say….son this is not about what you think…this is about what others think about you now. I don’t want you to ever second guess yourself because others looks down on you and think you are inferior to them. Being in a private school also means that you will be surrounded by kids whose parents pampers them to a point that they do not care about others anymore but themselves. I do not want you to be like them. You are your mother’s son and I know that you will never be like them. But it’s also important to fit in, to not stand out like a sore thumb. Do you understand?”
“Yes sir” was all Dongwan could say. He has so many questions forming in his head but he couldn’t bring himself to ask them.
“Now that’s settled, I would like to ask you to come to the office tomorrow with your mother. Ms. Alice my secretary would take you to shop and your mother and I would go to your new house. I ask Ms. Alice to buy your mother some new clothes and shoes, so make sure that when you get home tonight you take a good look at what’s her size is including the size of her shoes so that you could get the right one for her. Lastly don’t tell your mother those are from me, just tell her that you thought she should have some new things too. That I gave you some money to spend for yourself and you just used some of those to buy things for her. Do not buy anything too expensive or she might suspect okay.”
“Yes sir”
“What else, yes I already told your brothers that you and your mother will moving somewhere near and that you might occasionally join us for dinner or come to the house more often. I would like you to spend the night at the house whenever you mother has to stay the night at the hospital. Security in the building where your new home will be is very good, but I still do not want to think of you spending the night alone. A room has been prepared for you and I will ask Ms. Alice to buy you extra clothes to keep at home so you that you do not need to pack a bag every time you need to stay the night. Any question?”
“Is Mom going to be alright?”
For the first time Kwan Dae has a strong urge to hug his son. He can see how scared he is by the thought of losing his Mom, and all the changes that he is going through right now. But instead of hugging him he gave the boy a tap on the shoulder.
“Your mother is a strong woman, but sometimes will and strength is not enough. If she has come to me earlier I could have sent her abroad for treatment. The only thing to do now is to hope she would be able to hold on long enough to see you graduate from school. That would make her very happy. So try to be good in your studies, okay!”
Dongwan just nod his head. He can feel tears starting to build up in his eyes and he has to blink a couple times to stop himself from crying. He has to say something he knows that but he doesn’t know what to say.
“Dad”
“Yes?”
“I think I scratched your car. I was running home because Mom might get mad at me for not coming home in time and I did not see it was parked in front of the house and smashed my camera into it”
“Did you hurt yourself?”
“No, but I think my camera is useless now, and I think Mr. Hodong will be mad once he sees the damage I done in daylight”
“Don’t think about it anymore, that car is old anyway and I have been thinking of replacing it already. Your birthday is coming soon am I right”
“Yes the week after next”
“How you would like a new camera for your next birthday, one of my staff showed me the new camera they bought for use by the Public Relations department. It’s digital and has expandable memory and you do not need to use films. But you need a printer to print the pictures and a computer too….hmm…I’ll ask one of the people in the office to have a pc set up in your new room. Consider that as your price for getting into the Advance Math Program and the printer for winning….what’s that again…the last medal you won”
“I did not win any medal, but one of the pictures I took got accepted and was published by a local news paper.”
“Yeah that one, your mother called me up to tell me to buy a copy of that paper so I will see your work. It was good”
“Thanks”
“I think we better get going now. Your mother is waiting for you”
Chapter II
He used to dream of living in a big house, of having his own room, of having a big closet where he could store his cameras and equipments, but now that he has all of those and more Dongwan found himself unable to sleep. No matter how much he tossed or turn he couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in. He gave up on sleep after tossing and turning for the umpteenth time. It’s not that his bed is not comfortable, far from it, it was the softest bed he ever slept on, and the sheets are delicate to the touch. The apartment has four bedrooms, one for him and another for his mom, another room were turned into a study for him and the other one as his father has suggested was to be used as a guest room. Dongwan can’t think of a reason why they would need a guestroom when his mother’s relatives have never once sought to visit them. They did not approve of his mother getting pregnant out of wedlock, and they certainly made sure that she and her bastard of a son know that they are no longer considered as family.
Dongwan tiptoed into the spacious kitchen. The kitchen by his estimate is bigger than their former house. A large fridge, the size he only sees on TV and magazines dominates the whole kitchen. His mother protested on why they would need such a big apartment, but his father said it was the only one available in the area. Upon opening the fridge, he was greeted by large assortments of food. Her mother did not complain on this, she knows Dongwan’s father has always been generous to his sons, and she knows that she could no longer deny Dongwan creature comforts that his father is willingly giving to all of his children.
He helped himself to some juice and snatched an apple off the kitchen counter. He was settling himself in front of his new computer when he heard a noise coming from his mother’s bedroom. Coming nearer he heard his mother moaning in pain. Dongwan knew the reason why, his father did not spare him from the sordid detail of his mother’s illness, that and coupled with the research on the internet made him understand what his mother is going through. But it did not prepare him for the sound of pain he has been hearing from his mother lately. In front of him she is still the proud and feisty woman he has known all his life, but lately he has been noticing that she has been losing a lot of weight and at night he would usually hear those stifled cry. How she managed to hide that from him when they were still living in their old home is beyond him. When he told his Dad about this he told him that it would get worst as the diseases progresses. She is taking medication but sooner or later those medications would stop working and the pain would be uncontrollable.
Silently he opened the door and saw his mother curled up like a fetus moaning in pain.
“Mom, are you ok?”
“I’m ok go back to bed”
“Would you like me to get you anything? Shall I call the doctor?”
“No, this will go away soon. Go back to your room you still have classes tomorrow.”
But Dongwan did not go; instead he crawled into bed with his mom and hugged her gently. His mother did not protest.
“Your father may be a cold man, but he looked after all of his sons well.”
Dongwan was surprised with his mother. He can’t remember anytime that his mother talked openly about his father like this.
“He was good looking, and charming when he wants too. …yes…the most charming man when he wants too”
“Mom, there’s no need to say anything”
“I want to tell you myself, I don’t want you to hear it from others”
“Mom”
“He was already President of LKD Group when I met him, ………..I knew he has a wife, ………….I also know he has a son with her, ……….and another with a foreign born lawyer”
“Mom really you should rest now”
“He was a charming man; …….treated me like a Queen, .told me he would take of me”
“I was so naïve……thinking he would leave his wife and son for me…..thinking that if he did I would be happy……. And then you happened…”
“Mother…”
“He promised to take care of us and he did…..Lee Kwan Dae is a man of his words…. But I want more than that….I was young and ….and too selfish for my own good….he did not leave her…he won’t leave her…..he said he do not want to lose Eric….I took you away…..but my family would have nothing to do with me…..I thought I could raise you up on my own….”
“But mother you did….”
“No……when you were 2 years old you become very sick…I thought I was going to lose you….by that time my pride was the only thing that was left of me…… I came knocking in your father’s door…told him you were sick….he agreed to help me in the condition that I let him see you….to let you know he was your father….to accept his help….I refused….in the end he won….because I was afraid to lose you…..so I let him spend money on you….send you to the best Tutoring Academy…pay for all the extra lessons you want to take….all those taekwondo classes you want to join….. He wanted to do more for you……give you a bigger house to leave in….expensive toys to play with…. He wanted to send you to a private school…….but I was afraid that if I give in to him he would start to demand more….I was afraid in exchange for this creature comforts he was willing to give me he would take you away from me…..”
Another wave of painful spasm cut short their conversation. Dongwan hugged his mother tighter. She let him hold her until the pain subsided. It was a while before Dongwan heard his mother’s steady breathing. After checking on her one last time, he silently tiptoed out of the room. He went back to his computer and the now stale glass of juice and uneaten apple. He knows sleep will not come for him tonight.
*****
He knows all of his brother’s by sight. Their father made sure of that. Eric the legitimate one and the oldest is always the silent one and wouldn’t talk unless spoken to. Hyesung the one from
Dongwan is spending the night there as his father instructed him to do when his mother has to stay the night in the hospital. Lately these sleepovers have become more frequent. The others knew the reason why but they seem to know that he did not want to talk about this with them. Their father told them to eat dinner without him as he will be late in coming home.
Dinner which is usually a silent affair is a bit animated that night. Junjin’s team won a very important match which would enable them to get into the regional finals, he, Hyesung and Minwoo is having one of their weird bi-language discussions about the game. Eric was silently listening to them, while Dongwan on the other kept to himself. He knew he should eat, but food is the farthest things on his mind right now. This is the 5th time in 5 weeks that his mother has to stay the night in the hospital. His father has told him to get all of his things in their apartment and take it to his house because his mother might stay in the hospital a while. He wanted to go there but he has forbidden him and said that he wouldn’t be able to see his mother anyway because she was in isolation.
He jumped out of his seat the moment he hears the phone rang; he beat Eric by few steps in answering it. The other three did not bother from getting up from their seat.
“Hello, Lee Residence”
“Wannie, is that you?” it was their father’s voice
“Yes sir it’s me”
The others stopped whatever they are talking about when they heard it was their father on the phone.
“Listen to me carefully, the hospital called me and told me to go to the hospital, I want you to meet me there. Ask Eric or Sungie to drive you there okay, give the phone to Eric.”
Dongwan without a word gave the phone to Eric. He could feel his world turning upside down. Eric has to give him a strong tug to get him to listen to what he has to say.
“Dad told me to drive you to the hospital.”
“Ok”
Dongwan was in a state of shock, it barely registered on him that the others also got into the car and came with him to the hospital. Eric drove, while Hyesung who has driven him to the hospital a few times already gave instructions on how to get there.
Their father did not say anything when all five of them arrived in the hospital together. Dongwan was immediately ushered into his mother’s room to pay his last respect. His father stayed with him through it all.
****
None of his mother’s relatives came to the funeral. He did not expect them to come anyway. His father took care of everything, and his brothers all came. None of them said a word to him but they were there. Dongwan felt numb, no tears would come, Mr. Shin the butler has to force him to eat and in more than one occasion his father has to order him to go home to get some rest.
****
It was the same room he used whenever he comes to sleep over. It was more spacious than the room he occupies in the apartment. He does not have his own study room here but the room is big enough for all his stuff. His father sent someone from the office set up his computer in his new room. Somebody else took care of packing his mothers belongings. His father said his sending it somewhere for storage but let Dongwan keep anything he wants to keep. In the end he settled for the few photographs of the two them together and all the photo albums of pictures he took went into storage too.
His father never came to talk to him again about his mother. He did not offer any explanations or offered him a comforting hug. He just let him be. Before long they developed a routine around the house that they would be keeping at least until all of them are old enough to drive their own car. Eric and Hyesung who are already old enough to have a driver’s license drive their own car. He, Minwoo and Junjin are either dropped off to school by Driver Jongmin or catch a ride with either one of them. Eric never complained on being their chauffeur but he remained distant. Hyesung is more tolerant and made an effort to converse with him once in a while.
Their father remained just like, an authority they respect and secretly worship. A man who is so involved with all their lives but managed to remain so distant. The father who unknowingly sowed fear in their hearts and who could send them scampering to their feet with a just s tern look. Somehow Dongwan got used to the dreary atmosphere around the house, the silence that permeates the place whenever all of them sat down together for dinner. This is home now he knows that and he belongs here whether he likes it or not.
Dongwan turned off his nightlight and waited for sleep to come to him.
THE END
