Another fan fic

Characters:
Hyesung
Eric (Implied only)
PSY (Implied only)
Someone (I refused to name because she might :anyonehome: me. CLUE: she's from somewhere around here..:shifty: )

FADING LIGHT

I closed my eyes trying to sleep but sleep refused to come to me. In all honesty I know other peoples life are harder and more than half the population in the world have it worst. But still the heaviness of my heart wouldn't leave me. I changed position thinking it would help and all I got was a painful toe that I accidentally hit on the headboard.

Then I heard that familiar sound of his car. I went back to my usual position and pretend to sleep. I know that if I asked him the questions I wanted to ask we would just end up fighting. I closed my eyes tightly when I sense him enter the room. He smells of cigerette and alcohol. He was humming a tune that I'm beginning to hate now.

"Honey"...I can hear him call me. I did not answer, pretending to sleep instead. He did not even attempt to kiss me like he always does whenever he arrives home. He is now pacing the room, he is probably not as drunk as I thought he is because he still can pace the room without falling over. I heard his phone ring. I know by his ringtone alone who the caller is. He is a man of habit and it has always been his habit to assign a ringtone for certain persons in his phonebook. I know who his talking to right and it makes my blood boil even more. How dare he call him this late in the night when I know that they already spent the whole day together.

I felt a slight breeze touch my bare skin. Slowly I open my eyes to peer, he has opened the window and I can see why, because I saw him light a cigarette while he talks on the phone. This is going to a long conversation if he has the urge to light a cigarette.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I don't want to listen in on their conversation. Slowly he stood up from where he sitting and closed the window. I thought that finally he'll join me in bed now but I was wrong. I heard him go to the shower instead still singing that stupid song.

I felt my phone vibrate , grudgingly I reached for it. The caller id told me who is it. I did not bother answering, as I am equally irritated with that woman as well. Why can’t someone so beautiful and smart hold on to her lover? What exactly is she doing to lead her lover to go astray and now wreak havoc to a perfectly happy relationship? I have to stop myself from cursing her some more because truth be told I should ask myself the same questions. But then I told myself that I am not a celebrity who appears on tv and movies and gets paid to endorse products. I'm just a simple girl, who can’t even hold a simple conversation in the local language without making a single mistake. I know she has nothing to do with this. It's not her fault. But still right now I hate her with all my heart and soul.

Then who's fault it is? I asked myself again, if not her then who? Surely your not blaming yourself, are you? I told myself. You've done everything he asked of you. You gave up your job, moved away from family and friends and basically uprooted yourself just to be with him. From an independent career woman, you are now reduced to being a plain housewife dependent on him for financial support, who spend the whole day keeping his house clean, washing his clothes, cooking for him and despite all the hundred and one errands you have to do, you still make sure your fresh and pretty when he comes home. Sometimes even though your tired yourself you'll smile and dote on him and once in a while would even give him a massage. Isn't that enough?

I refused to answer my own questions, for I am in fact afraid to answer them. He is done with his shower now, and I can sense him moving towards the bed. He smells better now, and I can feel his bare skin touching mine when he finally joined me in bed. If only his fans knew that he sleeps with only his birthday suit on then ....then what I asked myself?, even without that knowledge they managed to write fics about him in various state of undress.

I silently laughed at myself remembering all the fanfics I have read online whenever I have to wait for him when he is late coming home. I once told him about it and he laughed out loud, clearly embarrassed when I told him how a fan actually went out of her way to count his moles. He told me she was wrong and then proceeded to show me his other “moles”. I was really surprised at how free he is with me.

His breathing is even now, a clear indication that his already deep in sleep. Slowly I turned around to face him. He looked liked an angel when he sleeps, sweet and innocent. I traced the contours of his nose and lips with my pinky finger. Before when I touch him like that he would catch hold of my hand and kiss each finger. We love teasing each other. I wish he would do that now. I would give everything for him to open his eyes, smile at me and catch my hand to kiss the tips of my fingers and nibble on them slowly to tease me. Silently I willed my Sungie to open his eyes and give me that smile. To reassure me that all is alright, that it was nothing but pure friendship that their bond is like that between brothers. But he did not do such things, instead he continued sleeping, sometimes mumbling words I do not understand.

I felt something warm and salty touch my lips. I didn’t notice the tears that have formed in my eyes. Slowly I turned my back on him again; I know the tears wouldn’t stop until sleeps claims my consciousness.